My long lost and found friend, Aye Chan

I met a long lost friend today at the ceremony! Er....not say very lost or very long...we just met over the counter when I was still with my previous organisation, and I was telling this friend of mine, Aye Chan Zaw about my thoughts of leaving and joining another company. Its been a whole of 7mths and here we met again, after so long. Coincidentally he was here to attend his friend's ceremony and I am the one who spotted him!

Again, every time he see me, he will ask for my number. I guess, he always lost it, or delete it as he is afraid of his wife. Well, mths back, when we met (also coincidentally), he was telling me about the never ending quarrels he has with his wife. And he is always afraid to return home, fearing of a potential arguement, or her shoutings. 7 mths later, when I met him today, again I asked about his marriage. And still, he gave me the same facial expression and gesture, "Everyday quarrel".

They have been together for 3 years, no kids. I asked him why not think of having a little one probably that will help to shift the focus? He gave me a straight answer "NO". He explained that he has so much issues with his wife now and he dun want to have a kid. And he hates marriage, and said to me "Marriage no good".

I tried to help him think of ways and solutions, seeking counseling or doing some activities together. All he said was no, except hesitantly agreed to seek some help from the family counselor. He said once they quarrel to the extend of involving the participation of the police officers to come in and resolve the situation. It certainly sounds very bad, and I feel so sad for him.

Thinking back, we used to study in the same poly and were classmates. His command of english was not that good (probably because he is a foreigner (myanmar)), and we always used to laugh at him, and in return he will laugh at our chinese name esp another gal friend's name. He is a very smart guy and is competitive academically which made him sort of "popular" among us, getting him to tutor us nearer the examinations.

I still remember he went back to myanmar once and returned with a souvenir for me (you know, that kind of feel of labeled as a special or exclusive friends when others were not given anything while you got one, lol!). I was elated!

After our graduation back then, we sort of lost contact, as and when hearing news about him, returning myanmar, becoming sg pr, getting married to a myanmar girl etc. And we do bumped onto each other throughout these years. Everytime I see him, he is putting on weight. I poked his stomach and said straight into his face "You putting on a lot of weight huh! You should go and run". He think and thought and said "I will if you run with me la". I happily agreed cos we been staying so nearby! And he seriously need to lose those extra kgs. I still remember his clean and study built back then. He has now become a totally changed person, sounded frustrated over the phone when he spoke thru it, didnt want to look for a job (he will be graduating very soon from NTU), putting on weight, unshaved chin.

But when it comes to study, you see the sparks in his eye and he was pushing me to do a part time engineering course but I told him I simply has no interest in it.

Bring the topic back to his marriage, it is really sad to see another friend's marriage on the verge, in danger. I guess the alienation of communication between humans are getting wider when most of us are being more self centred, moe competitive, more judgmental, have our point of own views about things, impatience with communicating and building the message across, lack of expressing skills, lack of affection, lack of touch, lack of empathy, lack of understanding, lack of many many many other things. We are simply robots.

And all the while I thought he was happily married and will stay happy as always....sigh...


(photo taken many years back, this is the only one we took together. I know its very blur but thats the only one we took. Right: Me, Centre: Aye Chan, Left: Vernetia)