FOOOOOOOO~D!

You know which brand of dow sar bao is the best? Kong Guan.
You know which chocolate is the best? Those that melts your heart (oke that’s bull shit but Godiva, Ahmimah! or Fatimah! whatever lah.I still like Van Houten so far.)
You know which hawker has the best salty duck soup? The hawker centre at Chinatown, sorry I only remember how the hawker centre looks like but forgot the actual landmark but guess its somewhere there la, inside the hawker centre.
You know where sells the best fried wantan? This one I can tell you correctly, inside Sunshine Plaza at Bencoolen street. Their salty duck soup also nice leh, can try.
You know where got best drunken prawns? M Hotel restaurant (buffet) Its live prawns!!!!
You know where got best pork chop and coffee?? Pivofr (1 Liang Seah Street).
And where got best tea?? Sofra Turkish Restaurant, their Turkish tea is the best tea I have drank so far.
You know which ramen instant noodles the most best? Myojo Ramen.
You know where got best Curry Ebi? Suntec city, at the wheel of fortune.
You know where got best chicken baked rice? V8!!!! At bugis junction.
You know where got best ginseng chicken soup: at Taka level 4, crystal jade ginseng chicken bbq.
You know where got best curry puffs? At mackenzie rd, a kopitiam along the same street where you will see the second hand car dealers. You will see the bunches of bananas hanging on the store. :)

Ok ok, I have enough of fried rice at crystal jade, any other good food to recommend?

I wish, I hope, I can

If someone mighty would give me a chance to reborn, I wish I could enjoy my days in Ghim Moh Primary again. I want to play more of the police and thief games in the basketball court, I want to buy more jellies to eat, I want to hit more boys on the back of their head and make them cry. I will bring tadpoles home and watch them grow into frogs, or toads? I will complete all my homework and not be punished in front of the class to do those stupid pulling ears with crossed arms and stand and squat, stand and squat exercise. I will still feed the ducks in the science garden with more lallangs. I will not waste money buying those 50 cents stickers from that bookshop, I will have stab the smelly boy with my sharpened pencil.



I will have protested strongly when my parents want to get me this frame which I wore throughout from, I think P5 to Sec 1. I thought the bigger the surface area of the lens, the more wider views I can see. LOL!

I will do better in PSLE and chose a different secondary school so that I will not know those friends at all. Or, I will have insisted on joining the Arts Stream during Sec 3 so that I have a good portfolio to enter the School of Design in TP. I will have not chosen to study in SIM and know him. I damn regret. Waste of time.

I will have controlled my temper and insist on patching back, then look for a richer and dashing guy then ditch him and then look down on his poor family, how I hate his farcking barking bitch. I will have arranged to meet her and slap her hard instead. I will have asked her to my house and have both of them watched me pull down the window grill and watch me do the sky diving, yahoo………………! I will have allowed him to come and visit me in the ward and see my state and have him kneel right in front of me so that I can spat on him. I will have used the needle to stab his farcking face! LOL! Damn! I realised I have let him off so easily! But karma will come I believe. I am going crazy. *funny*

Just one of my missy temper flaring again…one of my pms mood and wild imagination……..

Great World City

Had dinner with my family on sun. The food court (the newer one) opp Great World City. The food is good you know? Its been so long since I last visited a food court. Wanted a salted duck soup but damn, no more. So I got the black chicken soup instead. :) Equally nice. Sis said the frog leg porridge is sumptous too. I tried, the sauce is thick and abit spicy, the ginger and spring onion fragrance is strong, ooooh! Nice!

Then we zoomed to Great World City (GWC). GWC is a nice leisure mall to shop. Firstly, it is not very crowded, secondly, there is a wide range of restaurants, even the food court, there are very nice food too! If you are a coffee lover, you have to try their coffee next time you go to the food court. Thirdly, there is ZARA! and not much of shoppers as compared to the Zara in taka, where all the clothes were thrown around here and there. Therefore, there isn't a chance for your clothes to be snatched by other bitches or even, to pick up a fight over it. You know, when it comes to clothes, some girls can get so damn desperate and snatch, yes! snatch from you when they see the size and design they like. I hate to see that inconfident and desperate looks on their face. Even though some may dress up well and refine but their ugliness reveal thru such simple shallow acts.

GWC also have almost all the familar brands I like. Esprit, Zara, WH, Women's Secret, Coffee Bean, Crystal Jade, That CD Shop, Factory Outlet, Spinelli, Kenny Rogers, etc. And the best is, they have GV too!! And there are some furniture stores if you like to shop for unique, classic and/or luxury stuffs. Next to the Best Super Store, there is an art gallery where you will find very nice paintings worth taking a second look even if you are not buying.

However, the only thing inconvenient for me is it's not anywhere near the MRT station. So most of the time I will only go to GWC only when I am with my parents.

Ginnise next time we go there shop together k? *rubbing my palms together* LOL!

Paparazzi, sorry.

I do not like to mix with you all anymore..... Nothing you say will make me feel guilty of wanting to let go of the 13 years we have known each other. I am not feeling pitiful of letting go of the relationships we have known. Every word you say carries a bone in it. It's pointless to even explain why I am busy, how busy, who I have been mixing with, what I have been doing becos you all are not important to be in this circle anymore. Is that what you really concern to know or you are more curious about what is keeping me busy and gossiping it over drink with the ppl who betrays me?

Time is not the factor here. Its the realization that I cannot get along with you all any longer. I do not even feel the joy of celebrating your bdays. Trust is not there anymore, I cant think of anything that will keep us together. The wine and dine lifestyle is not what will keep us together. And its not concern you all gave but digging more gossips of my life. Just live your pathetic paparazzi lives and leave me out. Continue that kind of comparison lifestyle, who is living better, who is earning more, who is happier in a relationship, who is richer, etc I do not give a damn man, never give a damn.

I want to be a better person, these comparison will not make me one. I just want to be Miu. Sorry, friends, erm friends? If that is what you all like me to call you.

Roots of ache

The roots of ache, prickling out from the heart
Is here to stay

The enormous pain, flows through the blood veins
Is here to stay

Turn and walk away
Is the only way

But the roots are here to stay.

The heart is part of life

Ginnise!! Your wound looks bad you know? You have better not eat seafood again and constantly remind yourself. The Fish and Co. is a bad choice I know. The swordfish looks big, chunky and meaty but after digging out the flesh from the skeleton, not much is left. The worst part came when I chew onto something I thought was meat. It was soft, slimy and damn fishy smell and I spat it out. it turn my stomach inside out and the smell lingers. :( Hateful fish. Hateful smelly fishy fish.

The 200 pounds beauty was a heart warming show. I love the songs, I like the actress, she is very very very pretty!!!! Suddenly I feel like going for cosmetic surgery, if I can be paid by credit and all I need to repay is by complimentary concert tickets. LOL!

I felt how she felt when she saw her fixed face in the mirror. It was not just tears with joy for a beautiful face she have got, but also, what she saw in the mirror was confident, dignity and pride given to her. Its a face of acceptance and respect. These are very important to a person who has been badly hurt by others, times and times again by ppl she loves, esp when she give all her heart out.

If someone falls for you for your beauty, its short term. If someone falls for you for your personality, it's gonna be for a lifetime. However, outlooks are most of the time that gets attention and interest. Yes, I am not a saint. Certain outlooks do catch my attention first but personality is always the deciding factor. But I am not someone with high expectations on outlooks. Someone clean looking, fit, good dress sense. Good enough. You can easily grab a handful with such description. But a suitable personality for me, it is never easy to have one that will get my attention. Never easy, mark my words, never easy.

If you have read the biography of Late Mr Wee Kim Wee, you will like his personality, just like how he has gotten my attention and respect. I always believe that the more successful you are, the more you should be humble because success does not come solely from you but from the ppl around you who gave you the opportunity. And his love for his wife, the late Mrs Wee.

In my whole life, two public figures I admire most are Late Mr Wee Kim Wee and Late Mr Ong Teng Cheong. The fatherly looks, success and humbleness, relentless love, these are things which many may not realise how impt they are, well at least for me, they are.

I will be a steadfast lover but I cant trust anyone will think the same as I do. It never did happen to me after all. Well, thats life, uncertainty, insecurity, etc. These emotions will as and when appear to confuse our thoughts. I do not want to be control by these negative emotions and feel the treats from the confusions anymore. I cant find back the positive outlook I have for love anymore. I have misplace my heart. Yes, and romance is only a part of our lives. :)

If you been confused by romance, bring the focus back to yourself. Love yourself more and treat yourself better. Dont neglect your inner self. Don ever ever lose yourself like how I once did.

The bits and pieces still aches alot but can I always look back? No, no one will bother....

Life is full of start and restart buttons. I have had my hippo times as and when but I will remind myself not to let it drag too long. I have fall and stand up tall again.Thats is always what we do after we fell down and help ourselves up again and continue walking with abit of limping isn't it? But we will continue walking the path isn't it? No matter how pain the bruises are on our knees isn't it? Life goes on and on and on, the hands on the clock ticks on and on and on.

And thanks Ginnise for that Yukie cd. On top of that, I am considering to get the whole collection also! Its currently out of print now...SAD!! But guess that will be pricey too! That, I will go order online and if i get it, will definitely share it with you! Meantime, walk with caution and remember, to read the instructions carefully word by word before you past the gauze on your knee. Opps! I laugh too much I think my karma will be very very bad.........LOL!!!!

Happiness ride

Bright sunny yolk in the sky
Warming the flowers along the side
Calm slow ripples on the tide
Carrying happiness on its ride


This is my breakfast this morning. Yahoo! Now I can go shopping and watch movie in peace.

The lonely tree in the night

The lonely tree in the night
No leaves to whistle and show some life
The sky seems brighter tonight


Another draft I did tonight, alone in my room working quietly with the cold breeze blowing. I understand now, its not as much paint you put to create the contrast. Its the skill of mixing colors and not overly mix. I will practice on that. Life is not about how much money you have got, but how you live your life.

I farck! farcking! farckest! care!

I farck care how many toy cars you have in your garage

I farck care how many prada tissue holders you have got

I farck care how many blood diamonds you gave to your female dogs

I farck care how many tiffany you gave to your pussy cats

I farck care how many stack of notes you have to make that king sized bed

I farck care how many country memberships you got, they looks like KFC discount coupons

I farck care how many abalones, bird nest, shark fins, you use, to soak your smelly legs with all

I farck care! I farck care! I farck care!

They don’t impress me at all!

Good for nothing piece of shit!

I need and I feel like

The draft boards are not enough. I am thinking of getting a dozen more. And the paint brushes, I need another set, a better set for smoother strokes. I need more range of colors, I need another set of colors. I need the stand, yes I realise I will need the stand. And I need a bigger place. Erm I wish I can paint at that grass patch.

At the mean time, I came out with a poem again.........done in 5 mins.


I feel like sleeping but I want to do and complete many things.
I feel like watching the rain and letting it washes my face.
I feel like reaching out and touch the marshmallow clouds.
I feel like floating in the air like the feather with all the freedom and no restrictions.
I feel like running like a black cheetah, run away, away from reality, as fast as the lightning flashes.
I feel like sinking at the bottom of the ocean, deafen by the pressure and vision to no others.
I feel like standing on top of the mountain and shout out your name with passion.
I feel like ....laughing, at and with you but I know that will never happen again.

I am the Great Bodhisattva

Endless tasks befall on me. I reached office at 7:30am. Surprising? Yes, a big surprise for my colleagues. I usually reach office at 8:45am while I am suppose to start work at 8:30am. Rainy days will be a more supportive excuse for me to be late. I will usually reach ard 9am. LOL!

Its a exceptionally busy morning. Having to attend the counter enquiries, phone enquiries, going down to the exam hall to bring them the question paper and my own desk work to settle. Endless task to solve. However, lucky me again, to have free coffee treat from the student helpers. It happen twice a year, semester 1 and semester 2. I am indeed a boy killer. Muahahaha! I just pray that I will not have stomachache after drinking their free coffee.

The phone keeps ringing while I am attending to the counter. No one will bother to answer although the shared line is attached to 5 or more phones. It will just go on ringing until the caller gives up. That is the problem of having a duty rooster. I wonder if it suppose to help or its something destructive that makes everyone becoming individualist and self-centred beings.

The counter will seems like the lion's dungeon. No one dares to walk near it. I have become the great Bodhisattva with thousands arms. One moment I am at the counter, another moment I will be grabbing the phone, suddenly you will see me working on my materials. And now, I can even blog about it! Counting down to relinquish from my counter and phone duties. And soon I will out from the office to carry out my sacred duty, skipping my lunch maybe?


I am the mighty of mighty god you wor-shi-pi !! Muahahaha!

Its done!

Yes yes, the renovation is done already, almost except for the minor little glass shelves to be fixed. The workmanship is not exactly good for that almost 25k we are paying. Its my parents' hard earn monies!! Can you imagine they could be so innovative to hammer two big screws in the most abstract slanting way, onto the side of the inner cupboard, so as to create hooks for my mum to hang her wok???? Hmm...... I am very surprised. Maybe we have been paying for their creativity instead of quality materials.

However, it gave us all a new refreshing feeling in this house that we have been living for 19 years or so? I thank my mum and dad for giving us a shelter. This shelter which is full of humble loves, not so funny jokes, and many many meaningless quarrels. This shelter which gives me warmth after I face the outside storm and other harsh weathers. This shelter that accepts me no matter how bad shape I was or will be. This shelter I call home. :)

Its for your good, Peach

I know I am evil but I can't help it......................its for your own good, Peach. You need Foltene. :)

Bossa - final recording draft

This is the final draft recording I did but its not edited yet. The beginning sucks and I feel the feeling is not there anymore. :(

Nevertheless, have to share with yous! Once the edited version comes in, I will upload again, so bear with this 1st! LOL!


http://miuyap80.blogs.friendster.com/lifang_vox_170407.mp3

Heavy rain... :)

Its been so long I last saw it rained in the middle of the night. I was awaken by the familar sound, the coldness embraces me and I realised I have kicked off my blanket. I woke up, making my way in the darkness to close the windows.

The heavy downpour was such a stunning sight. The splattering rain fell freely and the strong cold wind blew. The droplets entering through that small opening gap and fell on my face, the lonely expressway and the misty candlelights shining from the lamp posts which lit up the whole route from one end to another. The occassionaly roars from the thunder and glittering lightings from a distance away. The joy of the zillions dancing rain you can hear them when they landed on the lanes and on window panes.

I wish I can stay awake and sit in the living room sofa to watch the performance. But I went back to lie on my bed, tugging safely in the blanket for some warmth and closed my eyes. The rain sang me a lalluby. It became softer and softer and softer and I finally went back to my dreamland.

Die-Mourn-Teh

From mon to fri, tune in to 98.7, from ard 5:45 onwards. You will laugh your heads off hearing the hong-kee slang conversation between the two DJs Yong and Daniel.

I was tuning to their station one day and heard this weird hong-kee slang. They were talking about VPL. Visible Panty Line. It was damn hillarious and I was smiling and trying to calm my shoulders dwn throughout my slow work home from work, listening their discussions thru my earpiece.

The discussion about how VPL was unsightly and loathed by some, to the change of trend to becoming a "fashion" where how the basic colors of black, white and beige became flowery, lacy, and also having die-mourn-teh on it wor. Diamond becomes die-mourn-teh! Everyday they will have a new discussion conversation and I promise, it will make you laugh hard just by hearing their hong-kee slang!! LOL! Catch the conversation and you will understand why I am still laughing as I am typing now...Die-Mourn-Teh!!!

I met him, again...

I met him again..along the familiar road side, I met him again. I only realize it’s him, thru that familiar scent. That familiar mothball scent although the pandan smell is no longer there. It may have been overwrite by that familiar moth ball scent.

This time he came with tinted windows but the smell is still there. And its too late, I have already flagged and sat in there. Again bearing the smell through the journey I wish I could be dead. He must have hated his job. Toxicating us with that scent. Or he must be hallucinating we are the hateful moths, flying into his ride and we should be given a slow death.

Will you?

Will you cry if you see me again?
Or smile and ask me how I am?

Will you hold my hand again?
Or let the distance be our gap?

Will you hold me again?
Or keep your hands in your pocket?

Will you drive me home again?
Or allowing me to leave stand there?

Will you chat with me again?
Or keep all your pain?

Will you tell me the feeling is still there?
Or has long gone to else where?

You! You again!

You are suppose to answer phone calls
And not striking a conversation!

You are suppose to help the caller
And not say “Oh on……! That what happen?” and making it become a discussion!

You are suppose to solve problem
And not feeling empathy and sounded sad over it and taking so damn long to go to the main point. That is, to solve the problem!

This is not a house phone! This is an office phone!!!!! Please stop all your grandmother acts! You are a man!

Why do you “Opps! I did it again” ?! Making me feel so damn pissed off early in the morning today!

Hunchback Norte Dame

Quasi! Quasi! Is a misshapen hell
A mindless idiot seen by all that has been deafened by the bells

Beautiful gypsy Esmeralda
Condemned as a witch
Plotted by the priest who lusted after but cannot have her

Quasi! Quasi! To her rescue!
Hiding her in the Cathedral's tower where law can't touch her
His love for her is the inarticulate cry of a beast
Reaching out for only the kindness ever could offer

The foolish peasants storming into the tower
They chewed stones and spat on him
Frolle has taken her, turning her over to the recluse in the cell
Sending her to the hanging deck you can tell
And Quasi witness her death

Despair! Despair! Quasi pushes Frolle over with despair!
Sending Frolle to his deserving death!

Overcome by deepest grief
Quasi entombs himself with Esmeralda
Where his skeleton will be found
And that will be the end...

Be together again

Sink your fangs into my vein

And drink to your heart content

Suck and draw the life from me

And left me with my empty can

Slowly I will collapse in your arms

Leaving no strength to defence

The blood shed eyes

Look upon at me

And felt my frozen lifeless cheeks

I woke up as if I have dreamt

I felt the bite marks on my neck

I look into the mirror and saw my blood shed eyes

The same one which looked upon at me

I felt I have reborn and became immortal, just like you.

We can finally be together in your dark castle...

What a word can do

I am always here, Making trouble?
I wIsh you can be here to see what goes wrong
Should you get angry firSt or calm down and read thoughts?
Hiding Under the table, I wish never to see again
The word said to me hurts aNd was never bother then
I was a Dreamer, it will never be possible
Dampening my upliftEd spirit
Try to Recall as much as you can
There is no deny it’s Still there
But you have goT to wisen up
Pick yourself from where you have fAll
No one caN teach you how to soar
And for now all you can Do is to love yourself more
I am willIng to teach you how to
But promise you will ruN away when you see this word
For what Good will this word do? When all you have to do is to talk things through!

Toy Museum

If you miss Popeye, Mickey Mouse, Vintage Toys, nothing much to do on a weekend, or missing your childhood days, I have got a good place to recommend you.

Mint Museum of Toys is rather a wondeful place not to be miss out especially if you enjoy your childhood days alot. In this Museum, you will see many familar faces, some of which you may have own and thrown away. Some which you may have chew on it, some which you may fight over it. These toys will bring back alot of recollections which you may find it so amusing that they seems once like you have own them before but now you can only see them through the window case. So near yet so far. *funny*

Admission fee is 10 bucks but you can take your time to look thru the interesting toys on display, not just one storey, but I think, if i remember correctly, its three storeys (sorry, it should be 5 storeys high). But the upsetting part is, THEY ARE NOT FOR SALE......

website: www.emint.com

The Starfish Story

The starfish story

As the old man walked the beach at dawn, he noticed a boy ahead of him picking up starfish and flinging them into the sea.

Finally catching up with the boy, he asked why he was doing this. The answer was that the stranded starfish would die is I left intil the morning sun.

"But the beach goes on for miles and there are millions of starfish" said the old man, "How can your effort make any difference?"

The boy looked at the starfish in his hand and then throw it safely in the waves.

"It makes a difference to this one" He said.

Come back you! Come back to your senses!

Come back! You! Come back to your senses!
You are in the wrong direction!
Do not follow where there is light!

Come back! You! Come back to your senses!
Your loved ones are at the other direction!
Do not leave them in despair!

Come back! You! Come back to your senses!
You are kind! You are gentle!
Do not compare!

Come back! You! Come back to your senses!
Your direction is in your brain, not heart!
Hold my hand, I’ll lead you your direction!
I’ll be your friend when you need a helping hand!

Come back!

Goodbye my lover - Lyrics

JAMES BLUNT LYRICS "Goodbye My Lover"

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

My paint draft

My draft painting starts today!! Setting the background, letting it dry before working towards to the front. Yes, I ate and paint at same time. Save time mah. The board is rather small for my draft, but its a good practise and I manage to get back the feel of painting, how I felt during my secondary sch days. Careful planning is needed. The clouds is abit tricky. The effect is not something that I wanted. I guess I need more practice.

I love I love I love! Painting!!!! Its easy and makes me feels happy!!!!

Its raining, again..........................

The rain, it is the rain
It reflects my inner bleed

Gushes the bright red bleed
Chilled my hands and frozen my cheeks

The rain, it is the rain
That shows my emptiness
Washes my sorrow and camouflage my tears

The rain, it is the rain
That drenched my heart in icy cold
Took away my sunlight and hides the clouds from my sight

The rain, it is this rain
That always rain when I am in sorrow

Remember this rain when it rains

Bring me a brolley
Shelter me from the icy cold

Return me to the arms of the sunlight
It needs me in order to survive

Return me to the arms of the clouds
It needs me in order to revive

Without me they will be left in the icy cold

The day when things go wrong and wrong and wrong

Its 3:30pm and I just got my lunch.

Suppose to have a colleague to buy me my chicken rice but she came back empty handed.

Suppose not needed to attend a meeting and colleague wonders why my name was not included in the email sent and hinted "you better attend, be safe than sorry!!" and it turn out that, none of the tasks involved me actually. By the time the meeting ended it's 3pm. I decide to grab a bit and ask my colleague who is standing next to the window, if its raining outside. She confidentally say no! it's not! And yes, its the same colleague who should have bought my lunch and hinted that I should join in the meeting.

I walked to the lobby and realise, it is raining. I walked back to my table and took my brolly. I reached the cafe and saw pies on the tray. I thought, from the shape of it, it must be tuna pie. So I bought one. Back to my desk, I sank in my teeth and took a big bit, only to realise, it is an apple pie.

Luckily, my can of mocha is not coke in disguise.

But this is the second time I am re-writing this whole entry becos just now, I don't know which click stunt I did and everything I wrote was gone.

:( The day when things go wrong and wrong and wrong...

YOU! YES YOU AGAIN!

YOU! YES YOU! YOU WITH YOUR THUNDER STORM AMPLIFYING VOICE! YOU DID IT AGAIN!!! SHOUTING ACROSS SO LOUDLY ITS RINGING IN MY EARS! I WISH YOU HAVE A NOBE ATTACHED WHICH I CAN TUNE IT LOWER LIKE A SPEAKER, OR BEST! MUTE IT!

YOU! YES YOU AGAIN! HARP ON THE THOUGHTS TO FIND A GF AMONG US ALL! TALKING TO COLLEAGUES AS IF YOU COULD BE THEIR LOVER! I EVEN HEARSAY YOU ARE SECRETLY ADMIRING SOMEONE AMONG US! NONO! IT WILL NOT BE ME. NONO! ITS NOT ME! I WILL NOT BE SO UNLUCKY! DON'T COME NEAR ME! I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO RESIST FLYING MY ARMS ACROSS YOUR FACE!

YOU! YES YOU AGAIN! YOUR GIRLY WAY OF "FUSSING" WHEN THE PHONE RINGS NON STOP. I HATE! I HATE! I HATE! I HATE THE WAY YOU FUSS OVER THE LONG WAIT FOR FOOD! MAKING ME WONDER IF I SHOULD BRING YOU ONE OF MY SKIRT!

THIS IS A WORKING PLACE, NOT YOUR NEST OF LOVE GAMES! I HATE! I HATE! I HATE! I HATE YOUR GAYISH TONE WITH THE PINCH OF NOSE TONE YOU SAY! I HATE YOUR CASUAL WAY OF CHATTING, DIGGING FOR INFO ON PERSONAL LIFE! I HATE YOUR HEIGHT! I HATE YOUR SPECS, I HATE YOUR BAG AND I HATE YOUR PRESENCE IN THIS OFFICE! I HATE! I HATE! I HATE! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!

It nearly happen again....

Wah Liow....I cannot eat ortah...........diahorea again. My 6th times. The effect almost immediate :( But luckily no gastric pain :)

This weak gastric of mine is like a time bomb. I remembered the few times, when I was back in poly days, how I have got to alight from the MRT Train and rush to the washroom and vomit, how painful it was that I have got my dad to send me to the clinic and I could only lie on the sofa hugging the stomach, how many times that happen and nearly lead to stomach ulcers. It felt terrible. The concentrated pain could make all your limbs go weak and numb and lips turn pale and let you have a taste of near death.

But still I love to drink coffee though numerous advise from doc to say I should stop. But still I love tomyam and spicy kimchi instant noodles, I still love mac spicy, I still love ortah! No advise or torture will stop me but maybe I will just cut down taking them when I am outside......but don't stop me!!!! :)

You're Beautiful....

James Blunt - You're Beautiful


My life is brilliant.

My life is brilliant
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yes, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last 'till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

La la la la la la la la la

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Black and White

Black and White
Which is right?
In between is thin grey line

Black and white
Which is not right?
In between is still a thin grey line

No black nor white
No grey in disguise
No blend to deny, black or white

See? Its for real

See? See? Its real. I have bought the basic materials to start my paint work soon. Thanks to Ginnise and Daniel for your accompany and help in getting what are necessary!!! And your little squabbling which amused me quite a lot today though I seems to be in my own world most of the time.

These are the love of my life from now on which will keep me moving on. The excitement in me, I was thinking, planning how to paint. How not to waste unnecessarily. How should I mix the color, where in the corner of my house will be good to do my painting? Should I paint on weekdays evenings or only on weekends cos once I start, I guess I will do it non stop. Yes, I am an aggressive and obsessive painter.

I need to hang ard in the library, kinokuniya more often now. I was spending quite some time at Kino today after buying the materials. And I was only restricting myself to the fine arts session!! And Time seemed too short!! The books for painting techniques are expensive. Close to 50 bucks per book. And not much of teaching of strokes and blending. I can only try to remember as much techniques as possible. So in the end I bought none.

Then to That CD Shop, to look for Yukie Nishimura but can never seem to get it anywhere. Damn sad. So in the end, in order to comfort myself, i bought three other CDs. Went to ask around at Gramophone. They dun have it too!!!!!! :( HMV can help to import the CD over but that will roughly cost a 70 bucks. If you ask me if its worth? Definitely. So I will most probably get help from HMV.

Music cleanse my soul, Painting rules my world. I will be leaving all of you and entering this new world of happiness where colors and rhythms will quench my thirst and ease my hunger.

If Yan can cook, so can Miu!

The kitchen is ready for cooking!!!! Today I tried cooking porridge using the rice cooker. Abalone porridge!!
The three of us, me, my brother and mum looks on at the rice cooker, as if our life saviour is shining from within.
And what happen when the rice is boiling? The water brewed out from the cooker and suddenly, the kitchen lights went off...electricity tripped................So, lesson learnt for today? Never use a RICE cooker to cook PORRIDGE.

So here's to share you a simple recipe:

ABALONE PORRIDGE

One can of Abalone, slice and dice. Keep the abalone water.
Rice grains
Tap water
Salt

Scoop the amt of rice you need to cook for porridge. One cup is enough for about 3 persons share. Wash the rice grains and then add in water. The amount of water should be double or more as compare to the amount of rice. Most of the time I dont measure, I go by instinct. If you like your porridge to be watery, you may add in more water. Once the water boils, stir the abalone water, add some salt for taste. Simmer to boil. Stir the porridge as and when and see if the rice grain has soften. Once it is almost done, off the stove and add in diced abalone. Scoop into bowls, serve it hot. Add pepper if desired.

Yes, if Yan can Cook, Miu can cook too!!!!!!!!! Except baking. I ever tried baking cookies following a simple recipe and guess what happen when I took out the cookies from the oven????? They cooled and I feel them and you know how it feels like?? Rock Stone. Spending my time and effort following closely to the recipe and in the end it becomes rocks!!!!!! I was so frustrated with myself that I threw the rock cookies against the kitchen wall and it actually bounced back!!!! Faint. And ever since then, I only bake using ready made cake mix from the cold storage.

Moral of the story: Kiang Tiok Hoh, Mai Gay Kiang (smart is good enough, don' act smart)

Single so wat?

Is it a sin for me to be single? Was it a shame?! Why cant I be single? You mean I must be attached and not detached?! Well, maybe because I have a ugly soul, maybe becos I am a player, maybe I am a bitch? slut? lesbian?? Maybe too high expectation? Think the reason yourself. I cant care much. Single means single lah! Wha liow........! What is wrong? *roll eyes*

Nibble away

Nibble my soul away
Sending me to the jaws of death

Run, run away
Leaving me alone

For you I will never smile again
Break this lock of fate

The limelights shone on me
I will never want to see again

It's not how good you are, It's how good you want to be.

Book Description

It's Not How Good You Are, It's How Good You Want to Be is a handbook of how to succeed in the world - a pocket 'bible' for the talented and timid to make the unthinkable thinkable and the impossible possible. The world's top advertising guru, Paul Arden, offers up his wisdom on issues as diverse as problem solving, responding to a brief, communicating, playing your cards right, making mistakes and creativity, all notions that can be applied to aspects of modern life. This book provides a unique insight into the world of advertising and is a quirky compilation of quotes, facts, pictures, wit and wisdom, packed into easy-to-digest, bite-sized spreads. If you want to succeed in life or business, this is a must!

Paul Arden began his career in advertising at the age of 16. For 14 years he was Executive Creative Director at Saatchi and Saatchi, where he was responsible for some of Britain's best known campaigns including British Airways, Silk Cut, Anchor Butter, InterCity and Fuji. His famous slogans include 'The Car in front is a Toyota' and 'The Independent - It is - Are You?'. In 1993 he set up the London-based production company Arden Sutherland-Dodd where he is now a commercials director for clients such as BT, BMW, Ford, Nestle and Levis.

I am leaving

The heart felt heavier with the added weight as I read and read away
You should be happier
Dun have to feel guilty
Dun have to feel remorse

I am leaving
Away to the clear blue sky
Where freedom awaits
With no anticipations
With no fear
With no confusion

Yes, they are still around me
Hoping to meet the real me
But sorry, they are not meant for me
I dun know why it should be
Numbers by numbers, stacking up by layers
They are all just figures

Not even friends, is that what you wish it to be?
Yes, that is it will be
But I always believe you will become a happier you
Time will heal you
As long as I am leaving
Leaving out from your sight and memory
I never know you, you never seen me
You will become a happier you
I am leaving.

How true...

I read this from a friend's blog. How true it is:

" we protect ourselves from hurt by loving less and ultimately sabotage our own happiness. Even worse, sometimes we don’t even try!"

When will enough be enough. When will ego be put aside and reveal our true feelings? How many times we are afraid of rejection, fear of the embarrassment and hurt.

Ever fell for someone whom you least thought you will be? Ever fell for someone whom you thought was too good for you and you are too afraid to love becos you thought she deserves more than your love? Ever tried loving her and try working things out and suddenly feels afraid that the longer you stay with her, the more you get used to having her around you, the more you feel dependent on her and so you decide to hide?

Ever feel the true happiness, laughters that fill every corner of your heart when she speaks to you, how you could just be yourself when she is around? Ever feel the butterflies in your stomach when you look into her eyes and you just cant help not looking into it? Ever suddenly picture a future together when you talks to her? And after when you realize all these, you become afraid, very afraid.

Ever feel afraid that you will become vulnerable thinking what if one day she leaves you? Ever try keeping her at bay and living in denial thinking that is the best choice for both? Ever try telling her she should move on and then suffer in silence that you wish she stays with you by your side?

Ever try playing mind games with the someone you fell for, making her reveal more of her feelings for you before you summon your courage to admit you love her? Have you ever play the tug of war game, wanting but dare not want? Giving but holding back?

Ever feel the sense of lost when you can no longer share with her what you want to? And when you feel troubled, feel happy, feel angry, she is the first person that comes to your mind?

And why would one still continue living in such denial and watching her leaves and then walloping in agony? Thats becos one just want to protect oneself from hurting lesser but in the end hurting even more, watching as love once again slip pass and allowing it to happen. And so, one will continue to fall, fallen, as you are reading this sentence.

Seven colors of wonders

The seven colors of wonders
Makes me wonder
How do they come out with such combination

Red brings me life
Orange makes me smile
Yellow says sad goodbyes
Green shines with envy

Blue feels depressing
Indigo gives me calm
Purple feels deprive

Do you remember when you last see this seven colors of wonders?
Was you alone or with lover?
Was you with family or with foes?
Was you with friends or complete strangers?

We have miss out this colors
We are all too busy looking down,
Working thru hours
When have we ever spare just a min looking up,
Searching for colors?
Have you ever see,
This seven colors of wonders?

Sweet Bitter Lover

Sweet Bitter Lover
Oh you sweet bitter lover
Whispering sweet little nothings into my ears
Holding me in your arms
Keeping me safe from harm

Sweet Bitter Lover
Oh you sweet bitter lover
Bitter tears fell from the corner
Wiping it off from my cheeks
Telling me its over

Sweet Bitter Lover
Oh you sweet bitter lover
Lover in the night and comfort stays on all time

Sweet Bitter Lover
Oh you sweet little lover
Tell me it aint over
We should be together

I am sorry!

Shit! Are my entries getting darker and darker?????????????????????? Thanks for noticing. I need to get back on track.

Sorry guys! I dont mean to. It just so happen I read back the past and the emotion hits my nose again. I was inspired by it to write about the dark side.

I am like a little girl, peeping into the dark room once awhile, feel the creep and then out from it again and running off to play in the garden. I am fine. I still do my everyday work and has found something that will keep me going. :)

Today my boss spoke to me for awhile, to informally inform that the M&P portfolio will be taken from my load, but adding on the FWC to me. I have not told you what I do right? Well, I am doing some publications for an educational institution. The Annual Report and their curriculum structure book. The Annual Report is quite a thin book, about 50 pages. Many coordinating, sending write ups for approvals, arranging for photo shoots are necessary. The other one, which consist of 500 over pages, is in A4 size, mainly text and imagine the amount proof reading work I have to do.

My boss also prepare me that further stuff maybe added on too, asking if that is fine. I smiled and say its oke. I do not mind trying out new things but I also reveal to her that I have the intention not staying for long. She said she heard about it already. And if I want an internal transfer she will gladly help. I say I want to move out to other industry but leaving will not be an overnight thing. I will take my time to find a suitable one instead of rushing off to grab any offer just to get away from my current workload. The sadness of leaving does make me wanting to reconsider but there is an end to everything, right?

Have you, ever?

Have you ever bath with a pair of watchful eyes on you to keep you safe? Not once but twice?

Have you ever scream at the policemen and CID when they come to know a story?

Have you ever scold and ignore the doctor when he comes to show you concern and tell you the consequence?

Have you ever tremble on a wheelchair and having nurses and strangers staring at you?

Have you ever scream your heart out at strangers when they lend a helping hand?

Have you ever lie there, the needles poke thru you and there is nothing you can do?

Have you ever been alone in a strange room, all alone and staring at 3 empty beds besides you?

Have you ever squat at a corner and hugging your stomach while it turn and toss away?

Have you ever curl up on the sofa and thinking the night away and no matter how much they say, you never hear?

Have you ever feel the fear when someone just pop in and stand at your room window staring then walked out?

Have you ever realise how important a pencil and a piece of paper are impt to you when they restrict giving you?

Have you ever experience apparently so call, forced to tell a stranger no, strangers, about your own story?

Have you ever "let your fingers do the walking" on the handles of the bed when your mum came to visit you and you turn a blind eye when she cries?

Have you ever watch the fan spinning away when you loss sleep over what happened?

Have you ever realise how tasty is the milo?

Have you ever felt helplessness invading you when you have nothing, apparently nothing with you?

Can you ever forgive someone who bestow all these to you just becos he was trying to find a way to protect himself and in the end, make you confused?

For the pride and egoistic me, which has been ripped from me, it will not be easy.

I wish I could become a haunting spirit who follows you whenever you are, bringing you fear and helplessness, just like how you did to mine.

Late night, again

Another night sleeping late. I reached home ard 1:30am. Was suppose to meet up with Ginnise for dinner at Jurong Point. In the end we went to IMM and had pepper.......Food? Meal? Rice? I forgot the name. Hope I got it right.

Pondering over what to buy again. Again, wasting money and bought two tops. I was at this addidas store when I bought that top. It was of very thin material though it cost 55 bucks and surprisingly it was not put on display but folded nicely. It look just so feminine on me I could not resist not buying as it only come in one piece per size per store.

The songs in the store caught my attention. He must have hated me when I asked him "what is this album that you are playing right now?" He confused and went to check. Even took out the CD casing for me to see, and back inside the room to check out what is the track it was playing at that moment in case I am only interested with that track. He look as if he could even offer me that CD home! Kidding... I know I know, I am the troublesome one.......LOL! I know I look fierce sometimes. I gave that untouchable, unapproachable, unfeeling look. Sorry. That's me. I made many afraid of me and as if I will lash out anytime if they ever piss me. LOL! Well thats me. The real me is this? Or one that is hidden behind this? I dun know either.

Wow! So many changes at Jurong East! Its been so long I last visited Jurong East. The new traffic light, the new cover up walk way. The cantonese style restaurant in JEC is not longer there... :( I miss the dumpling noodles..... Ginnise and I decide to KTV again. Ladies night leh! Can you imagine KTV also got Ladies night? My desire to sing seems to have faded gradually as the night dimmed away. By the time we decide to leave, its already 1am. Back home, I cant resist blogging a poem for Frankinstein. I dun know why his feature appears constantly in my vision so I wrote a poem for him last night....

Sat will be room swopping with my younger brother, the Fengshui master has actually advise my sis and I to sleep in my brother's room and vice versa. I will miss that room, one that faces the greens and expressway. The room which my sis and I will be taking over is facing the opposite blocks. Sigh, that means, I will have to remember to draw up the curtain everytime I change clothes. DAMN!

Sunday will be meeting Ginnise to shop again but for the art materials. I cannot wait any longer............the desire in me is boiling with passion and bursting out! Let me start painting before the fire burns out!

The death of the scientist

Quench your thirst with my blood
Then toss me away like a junk

Eat my flesh to smoothen your hunger
Then ditch my bones in a corner

Swallow my eyes for your supper
Then spit out the remainder

You are my monster
Draining my desires
Chew on my ideas
Sucking my opinions

You are my creation
One who gave opinions
One whom I built through ideas
One whom I desire

One whom I admire
One whom I have reincarnated

My passion - Dying Trees

Lunch time! Sketching become my meal of the day. I completed this sketch in 15mins. Not completed yet! Cos lunch time is over soon and I need to pee, make coffee and gossip with colleagues...

This will be my concept for the 1st paint work, entitled "Dying trees". I cant wait to paint! I wish I can poof! and appear at Art Friend, pushing a trolley, and throw all the paints and palettes and brushes and run back home to start work!

A bad day...

A bad day to start. Dad had a minor accident on the road. Though, he is fine. My brother happened to be in the car, was fuming mad. Apparently someone just change direction and swerve over to my dad's rightful lane and even when my dad jam brake, it was too late. And in singapore, as long as you bump someone's back, you are at fault. Regardless. Rules and regulations are just some stupid guidelines which makes us inflexible and can't differentiate what is right or wrong.

I just wish my dad is fine and safe. Other than that, is replaceable. I know his heart will ache like hell cos he loves his accord very much. He is a speeder on the road, sometimes. Esp when we are always late and he has to chauffer us around. He hates road hoggers. He will overtake and then drive slowly next to it and look at the driver.

His eye sight is failing. I am very afraid. Really afraid. Especially every morning, he has to drive from Jurong to Aljunied. Imagine the long journey early in the morning, alone in the car and what can be worst if caught in a jam. It will make anyone doze off. I wish to give him my pair of eyes since I dun drive. He needs the vision more than I do cos though I have a pair of eyes, I can't see what is right in front...

Be happy

If you can be happy for a day, what will you do?
If you can let a person happy for a day, what will you do?
Lying on my bed I could not sleep. Thinking of you, how you have been.
I wanted to stand by you but I cannot cos that is not me you hope to see.

She is your one and only.
How much you wanted her back in your life if you can?
Even if you can't, let her know how much you still misses her.

Most imptly, all I wish is you to be happy. Even if the world crushes down, you can still smile. The whole world can fail you, I remain Miu. Just a hug to bring you peace, just a glance to give you directory. If that is what I can give. But still she is your one and only. I am nobody. :)

I am a knight with no armor

I am a knight wearing no shiny armor.
I uses my flesh to shield all slashes.
I am a brave warrior.
I fall and I learn to stand on my own.
No one's hand will I hold on.

If my sacrifice could save your life, I wish I can die a thousand times.
If my death could make you smile, I wish the spear pierces through my heart.
If my disappearance could lighten your burden, I will not let you hear my existence.
If you wish not to see me, I will retreat with my tons of army and admit defeat.

Wake up and see my lord.
I remain faithful to you my lord.
Only for you to command me my lord.

The kitchen almost there!!!

Finally the kitchen table top is here today. It is solid marble, looks orangy and trustworthy. LOL!

So, it's cleaning time again. Mop and wipe and wash. Then I was glad my yoga was finally put to use. I can stretch all the way into the cupboard hidden corners to wipe and clean. Next time, I think I can squeeze into the wine barrel and take part in charity show. LOL!

Then my dad, becoming the penguin skating on ice. He nearly slip and fall a few times. And he still can crack lame excuses to say, he knows how to break his fall..... Like real....

After the cleaning and wiping, the next day will be arranging the utensils and cookery back in position so that mum can start wiping up dishes soon! The pack food and fast food are making me losing my appetite. Sat and sun will be blocked to swop room with brother. Again...need lots of spinach to eat so that I have the strength to shift the stuff!!! So many things to shift! I wish they can just teleport in position.... :(

I cant wait to start baking with cake mix and night time maggi mee!!!!! Yahoo! ;)

How much?

How much courage that takes to say I like you
How much courage that takes to actually admit it means I love you

How much courage that takes to say I dislike you
How much courage that takes to actually admit it means I hate you

How much courage that takes to say I want you
How much courage that takes to actually admit it means I need you

How much courage that takes to say I have forget you
How much courage that takes to say I do not want to

This is the eye

This is the eye

That sees through tons and tons of lies

They speak sweet nothings to her ears

She smiles and reappear

But this is the eye

that can see through all the lies

Nothing you can hide

from this eye

Time never goes back

Meaning article I dig out from archived emails sent to me by my ex. Thought of sharing it with all my readers.

Once upon a time, there was a teacher and his student lying down under a big tree near a big grass area. Then, suddenly, the student asked the teacher:

Student: Teacher, I'm confused, how can we find our soul-mate? Can you please help me?

Teacher: (Silent for few second, than he answer) Well, it's a pretty hard and easy question.

Student: (Thinking hard) Huh???

Teacher: Look on that way, there are a lot of grass there, why don't you walk there but please never walk backward, just walk straight ahead. On your way, try to find a beautiful grass and pick it up then give it to me. But just one.

Student: Well, ok then... wait for me... (Walked straight ahead to the grass field).

A few minutes later...

Student: I'm back.

Teacher: Em, well I don't see any beautiful grass on your hand.

Student: On my journey, I found few beautiful grasses, but I thought that I would find a better one, so I didn't pick it up. But I didn’t realize that I'm at the end of the field, and I hadn't picked up any because you told me not to go back, so I didn't go back.

Teacher: That's what happened in real life.



What is the message of this story?

* Grass - is people around you
* Beautiful Grass - is people that attract you
* Grass Field - is time
* In looking for your soul mate, please don't always compare and hope that there will be a better one. By doing that, you’ll waste your lifetime, cause remember “Time Never Goes Back".

It applies the same in finding your ideal life partner, your suitable career or business, therefore the morale is LOVE & grab hold of the opportunity that you have now, don't waste time!