So glad!

It was a nice feeling to be able to help someone again. This time, I was actually holding my 5 canvas boards and making my way to the taka Taxi stand. Surprisely yesterday, the queue was exceptionally short.

Before I reach the queuing area, I saw this old indian lady (about 70 to 80 yrs old) in sari who seem to have difficultly climbing up a step to reach the taxi platform. I dun know why, without any second thought, I just ask if she needs help and stretched out my hand. She looked up and embarrassly, she hesitated for a mili sec before she slowly stretched out her right hand and placed into my left hand. Her left hand was holding onto the metal railing while my right hand was carrying my 5 boards. Then she stretched her left feet and placed onto the platform. I held her hand tightly while she struggled to lift her body from the edge of the road and finally landed on the same platform as I do. Then she said "Thank you" while I smile and pat her back and replied "its oke".

At this time, I saw her daughter, walking towards us from the taxi stand right infront. Apparently I think, she does not know her poor mother was struggling far right behind her.
She shooked her head one round and thank me and I smile and hurried off, in case they started to kneel on the floor and holding their hands in praying position, and started worshipping me.

I am glad I helped instead of just walking pass her. Else, I would have been bearing the guilty thoughts throughout the journey back home.

Sweet little thing

My jaw dropped and back off a little. "Why? What's the occassion?"
"There is no occassion" He said.

We repeated this question and answer for a few times.

"You did something wrong is it?" I suspected and laughed.
"I just want to make you happy" He laughed and sighed.

I could feel my face blushing and very uncomfortable like a million ants running around my body and a million thoughts running in my mind.

"Or is it you will be away for a long time again that you feel so guilty?" I questioned again.

Yes, no deny the flowers make me thrilled and at the same time given me the attention I always wanted to avoid.

But hugging the bouquet close to me, it does help to calm my nerves, but this surprise may have been too much for me that it drove me to spend some time in the washroom with a terrible stomach pain. Probably I am allergic to the pollens?

Women, women, when good things happen, we over suspect this and that. When good things do not happen, we blame this and that.

The nice time spent, thanks for being you and chatting with Spidy while I am busy with the stuff.

:)

Thank you supporters~!

Thank you all supporters to our TPTP online accessories shop.

We have so far, collated and delivered our 3rd bulk orders to our satisfied customers. It was not an easy process right from the start we accepted these orders. Along the way, we meet some hiccups with our communication with our supplier but we manage to resolve them with patience. We tried and chose different packaging materials and style and finally decide on the ideal one, which will also be improved in time to come. We also spent late nights to sort and pack the accesories exclusively for our customers. We created payment invoice and mail them each customers etc.. We do not want to be just another online accessories shop but a real virtual, committed and dedicated company to bring you the exclusive and unique accessories.

While many other online accessories are saturated with crystal and beaded accessories, TPTP hopes to focus on bringing authentic accessories from Korea and good quality fashion accessories to you so that you could be that leading fashion icon.

TPTP is unique from other online accessories as we are constantly thinking about ways to improve our services and we are committed to you. We hope to create a well known branding for ourselves in the near future and also, most importantly, to bring you exclusive designs to make you stand out among your peers.

We will be collating our 4th bulk order soon. Email us if you will like to have a copy of the catalogue of products for your ordering (Please note that your order will be subjected to availability from our Korea supplier).

Opening date: 29 July 09
Closing date: 10 Aug 2009 (subjected to extension of deadline for any last min request/s)

In addition to that, we hope to befriend our customers! So if you are interested to becoming a friend of TPTP or be included in our mailing list, please add us in facebook via our email address: thepinktissuepaper@gmail.com or provide us your email address.

Do feel free to let us know any feedback you have about our site and accessories. We will be glad to make any improvement if possible.

Visit us at http://www.thepinktissuepaper.blogspot.com/

Ah Mei....my all time one and only idol. I am not that typical fan that would join fan club nor attend all the concerts held in singapore, in fact, I only been to one of Ah Mei's concert I think 2 years back.

I do not have all her album collection but almost every time I visit the KTV, Ah mei songs will always be my top list. Her newest album "Amit" is a combination of rock and tribal mix. I just had a preview of her songs via baidu.com and was facinated by this new album, the lyrics were beautiful written, her voice is still as powerful and full of emotions and dreams, every words were clear and crisp. Her low sexy tone and her high powerful pitch will always be her icon.

No deny, Ah mei, you are A Star, at least, my Star....................here is one of my fav..Ah Mei!!! I love you!!! Always and always and always!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io1_PPGKSkw

My first sketch on canvas board

I was busy broswing through the website and could not decide on something I should sketch. In the end, I decided to look thru the past pics I took and found this one that I took at Bukit Timah Hill and started sketching. It took me roughly about an hour plus to almost complete the whole picture...

Here's a preview:

This is the original pic I took

These are the sketches (1) 77cm by 60cm
and (2)

and (3)

And its not complete yet........

Tarot card reading

I was browsing thru the weekly delivery of my mum's fav magazine and I came across this interesting tarot card reading:

Click on the image to enlarge for the wordings.

Chose one card you prefer most

Click on the image to enlarge for explanation

I have difficulty in choosing, so this was the 1st card I chosed.

And the reading is...

This was the second card I chosed.

And the reading becomes...

Your customised card

Another made to order greeting card. Ah keong only tell me to make, never tell me what design. I only told him its 20 bucks. I have no idea what the receiving party will like to see. So today, with the inspiration and my itchy hands, I started to work on it. The crown and dangling beads and crystals (Swarovski) were also pieced and hooked together one by one. The bow is sewn into the ribbon, and a tab button is sewn behind it, so that its convenient for the gifter to write his greetings and not worry about how to tie the bow back.

Another piece of art completed.

Panick attack is not a mental illness

My recent panick attacks have become often. I usually get these attacks suddenly when I wasnt even thinking about anything worrying or stressing. These "attacks" just come suddenly. It happens more often when I take trains, buses or sometimes at work, or in the lifts with strangers. There were occassions when the symptoms come when I am in a crowded train, I suddenly felt that the ppl ard me are all standing too close to me and there will be a sudden desperate need to jump out from the train.



There were a few times when I did that, to alight from the train before continuing my journey after I manage to calm my nerves. Sometimes when the "attack" comes, my head swirls and suddenly my surroundings became blurry, my palms sweat badly, my face turn hot with gushes of blood racing beneath, my body shivers lightly and I just want to get to another place as soon as possible. Sometime my watch felt so heavy on my wrist I need to take it off, sometimes even my necklace on my neck felt like it is strangling me.



I even have these attacks suddenly when I am "relaxing" at home doing nothing. The heart suddenly beat very very fast I could hear the sound thumping hard. I have always try to find ways to manage it by going for a quick shower and inhaling deeply.



Relaxant does not help but probably will have to see a psychologist for them to better advise me how to manage these attacks when they comes. Sometimes when the attack comes, I feel discomfort in a crowd, sometimes when the attack is not presence, I am able to mingle in a crowd happily.





Below is a write up I extracted from the Wikipedia:



Sufferers of panic attacks often report a fear or sense of dying, "going crazy", or experiencing a heart attack or "flashing vision", feeling faint or nauseated, heavy breathing, or losing control of themselves. These feelings may provoke a strong urge to escape or flee the place where the attack began (a consequence of the sympathetic "fight or flight" response).


A panic attack is a response of the sympathetic nervous system (SNS). The most common symptoms may include trembling, dyspnea (shortness of breath), heart palpitations, chest pain (or chest tightness), hot flashes, cold flashes, burning sensations (particularly in the facial or neck area), sweating, nausea, dizziness (or slight vertigo), light-headedness, hyperventilation, paresthesias (tingling sensations), sensations of choking or smothering, and derealization. These physical symptoms are interpreted with alarm in people prone to panic attacks. This results in increased anxiety, and forms a positive feedback loop.


Often the onset of shortness of breath and chest pain are the predominant symptoms, the sufferer incorrectly appraises this as a sign or symptom of a heart attack. This can result in the person experiencing a panic attack seeking treatment in an emergency room.


Panic attacks are distinguished from other forms of anxiety by their intensity and their sudden, episodic nature.They are often experienced in conjunction with anxiety disorders and other psychological conditions, although panic attacks are not always indicative of a mental disorder.

I dun know since when this letter was kiap in between the story book I lent out to a few other friends and only recently, when I decided to lend it out again, I saw this note. HMMmmmmm.....who could it be? I have really forgotten..

It was by chance I brought my lappy out today. It was by chance I was attracted to this shopping cart. It was by chance I was fascinated with the graphic and crystals they have and pasted on the phones. It was by chance I suddenly thought of asking them if they could stick some crystals on my lappy. The lady said yes, I could use a graphic design and buy my own crystals and they could dyi for me with a cost. "I will be back!" I remember that was what I said to her, and off I went to the the nearest bead shop which I frequent most lately. I returned back to the store and show her the crystals I bought and instructed her to stick on top of the graphic skin I have chosen. I waited and waited. I took their stool and sat there while they work on my lappy. Pieces by pieces, they carefully picked with their tools and stick on smoothly. So while again, I started chatting with them. Asking where they are from (the guy is from Taiwan and the lady is a Sg PR), how much is the shopping cart rental each mth (3k ++), what other items could I bring over for them to stick crystals on (their answer: anything). Then the guys say "好难哦！超高难度的!" I hahahahahahahaha then I walked away, then came back with two cups of bubble tea. 　＂辛苦你了＂Ｉshowed them the drinks and smiled. So they happily paste the crystals one by one again until some curious passerbys took and second look, some stopped and watched, some gathered around the lady who was working on my design, then a couple stopped and asked how much it will cost to do one like that. I replied $100. Then the couple walked and turn away, not forgetting asking the guy to "happy sticking!" I happily thinking "hahahhahahaha! I managed to scare them away......dont ever think of copying my design"

So after hr plus of waiting, and chatting and joking with the friendly owners of the shopping cart, I finally got back my lappy!!

Dont worry, its not permanently sticked on. A layer of lamentation sticker has been pasted on the overall cover before sticking the crystals on it so anytime you wanna change your design, just remove the whole lamentation sticker!! And its not 100 bucks, its 45 bucks plus 15 for the lamentation protector..

Curious onlookers who crowded the lady while she is working hard on the pasting..
The lady in cap who was working on my lappy!

The Mr Made in Taiwan who took over from his partner and continue sticking..

Completed!

GE Women's Run

Oke! I have just signed up for the GE Women's run, not going to be over ambitious and will start with a 5k run. I have not been running lately becos I dun want to over tired myself in the weekdays evening and miss you online.

My buzz programme has also paused for the past 3 weeks because we have been busy at work and not possible to leave our seats by 4pm.

But! Am sure will go for this run as long as I am fit on the actual day! It should be "easy" to complete as long as its not a competitive run. And from now till the actual day, its about 2 mths time. I guess it should be more than enough to leisurely train.

My previous run was so long ago, I think in 2007. That was Run for Hope, for the cancer patients. I guess, I prefer these kind of activities with a purpose for my action. This time, it will certainly be meaningful to run with all the other women runners surrounding me while seeing the men waiting at a corner or along the road side.

Will you be at the finishing point to wait for me? LOL!!!

Bukit TImah Hill

It was 7:30am on a sat morning. We reached at Bukit Timah Hill around 8am. There was no sighs of monkeys, only more and more people walking. The initial route was pretty steep but manageable.

Throughout the walk, bro was talking to dad, I was like a enunch accompanying my mum next to her, afraid that she may roll off from the edge of the trail. I am not a outdoor person so was pretty 'fascinated' with the tall trees and BIG ants, they are really really really BIG. The sunlight bims through the leaves and shone onto the trail. We trekkers were very disciplined, with those walking up keeping to the left and the ones walking down keeping the right.

In about 30 mins, we reached the summit which I was pretty surprise, that it was a summit. I laughed and turned to my brother and said "Hahahahahaha! Thats it?!" He said "YAH" I am not trying to be proud but it was really a pretty relaxing walk. But if its a jog or run, I wont say the same thing though.

There is another challenging route which trekkers could walk through the forest and climbing the steep steps. Maybe next time, we could try that!!!

After the walk, we rewarded ourselves for a nice hot Mac Breakfast nearby and headed home. It was a nice sat morning!! :)

My change of appetite...

My N95 has always been part of my life which I hold it dear to my heart. Besides my netbook, I spend 24 hrs with my phone. I dont think I could ever live in the primitive lifestyle ever again, without a basic phone. My N95 was everything I need. A good cam, a big space for storing pictures and musics and most importantly, Nokia is the most user friendly phone I have ever used.

However, with all the near to perfect points, the only negative point I could find fault with it is its big and bulky body. Friends ever laughed that it looks like like a razor. I even downloaded the razor tone from one of my friends and mimic shaving my chin with the phone. However, I never regret getting my N95, until recently.

Without a mp3, I used to jog and squeezed my N95 into my pocket which, obviously protruded behind my butt. I shifted and place the phone in my front pocket but it restricted my movement. Eventually, I got a creative mp3 and no longer use my phone to play musics while I jog.

I also stopped taking pictures like how I used to with my phone. The 8G memory seems never been able to used up. Soon, my N95 does not seem to be able to satisfy me anymore.

So I started browsing through the list of new phone gadgets....HTC.....Nokia....LG Prada......then I set my eye on the HTC Diamond 2.

So I went to renew my contract and trade in my N95 and brought along a 50 bucks long expired voucher to the shop. The lady staff told me, after trading my N95, and paying an additional 100 bucks for early renewal of contract, I still have to pay 398 for the HTC diamond. I pondered and was pretty relunctant to spend so much on a phone. Then I showed her the 50 dollar voucher which she said it cannot be use since it has been expired, as explained by her manager. I was disappointed, and argued "But I exchanged and redeemed my points for this voucher, so you mean my points are redeemed for nothing? Is it stated in this voucher that if its been expired, we cannot use it for waiver?"

The lady staff read through the voucher and replied "although its not stated anywhere in the terms and condition, but the expiry date is dated clearly on the voucher." I knew I could not argue anymore and relented, but with the thought of going back home to write a long complain letter about their customer service for a 8 years loyal customer. My heart aches and was sad that I will soon lost 398 bucks from my account for a little black device call phone...........

The lady staff went to the back of the counter and came back shortly telling me that she has checked with the office, and has requested for a 200 renewal contract voucher for me and the 100 bucks early renewal contract could also be waived. That is to make up for that 50 bucks voucher which I could not use. So after all the arrangement, in the end, guess what? I only need to pay 98 bucks for the HTC Diamond 2~!

I tried very hard to contain my excitement and kept calm and cool and made my way to the cashier to pay the 98 bucks quickly in case they change their mind.

Although I miss my N95, but this sleek HTC Diamond 2 is keeping me interested that I eventually lost my fondness and attachment to my N95....

Byebye baby.....You have always been part of my life...

My new baby...

Mr Arab!

Friday, I decided to put Mr Arab right infront of my working monitor, so that I dont need to turn my head every time to the right just to see him.


Today, it rained heavily early in the morning. The weather is cool and windy. I woke up abt 9:30am and drank a half boiled egg and took bread for breakfast. Shall be going out with my parents for some patrol rounds about the mall.

Hope every thing will be fine for you in the faraway land, and wear a mask over your mouth if you do not want to be eating the sand out in the desert if you are going into it again.

I scalded my hands becos....

It was suppose to be a nice morning, knowing that you will be online in the morning. Until I told you I am making coffee, all was bad for me.

I went to the pantry to wash my london cup. I tore the 3 in 1 sachet and without a second thought, I threw it into the trash bin which Auntie Yan had just replaced with a new black bag. After a second thought, I realise I should not have thrown the emptied sachet into the newly changed bin, instead, I should have throw the empty sachet into the garbage bag that was filled with rubbish but untied.

While refilling my flask from the hot water dispenser, Auntie Yan returned to the pantry. I turned my head back and told her I am sorry to have thrown the emptied sachet into the bin she just changed. Then I left a sharp pain, a bit of icy pain like dry ice had fell onto my hand. I turn my head back and saw I was dispensing hot water onto my left hand. Thankfully the basin was just next to me and I was able to run water onto my hand. Almost immediately, my fingers and my thumb were so redden.

I walked back to my desk and told my colleagues with a smile. Then one colleague offered me her colgate to apply. Then the phone rang and I answered, only to dropped then handset because of the pain I forgot.

The colgate dried up on my fingers and thumb, forming a layer of matt "protection". The colgate paste does really helps to lighten the redness and soon my hand was completely fine. But the sharp pain surfaced within the skin like they have been rubbed with a bottle of chilli padi.

Thankfully my fingers are not cooked..............

After that was a series of "Complain Queen Episode", "Arguement with my friend", "Sending you off" , "Busy with work", "Not being able to go for my run", and gobbling my dinner, one ice cream for dessert, snack on the seaweed you bought, another small bowl of rice, and a mac chicken burger..............ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It all boils down to accountability and taking pride and responsibility

I am damn fucking pissed today.

Just a few days ago, that colleague told me about an issue she faced while making an arrangement for a panel to meet for some examination. By the way, one of her job scope is to arrange a panel of members to meet on the same date to conduct some examination presentation.

The scenario is as follows:

This complain queen is suppose to arrange a date for the panel members to meet and conduct the examination. An examination panel consist of 4 different roles mainly the HOD, our AD, the Internal Examiner and the 4th Panel Member.

The 4th Panel member is task and represents the whole panel to write the report at the end of the whole examination. However, in this case, the HOD happens to be the 4th Panel Member also (its the same person). And so this Complain Queen was asking me if HOD should re-nominate another person either to take over his role while he remains as the 4th panel. I told her since this is the first time I encounter this scenario and in my opinion, the HOD could be the same person as a 4th Panel since the 4th Panel are suppose to write the report only. I told her it will be better for her to check with our AD since she is from the academic group and she would be able to decide whether or not, a member could hold two different roles. So that Complain Queen agreed. So, I expected her to update me after she spoken to our AD. She did not. Someone else did.

Today, this complain queen (did as what she has been crowned) complained to another colleague, saying that she has so many things to do, arranging this and that, and felt that I (Miumiu) should have taken over to speak to our AD instead on the decision. She is should only arranging the date for the panel to meet. Talking so much, at the end of the day, she is just Boh Ji (gutless) to approach the AD or senior staff to clarify on the work procedures or issues she faces at work!

I am damn pissed when my colleague passed the message to me. What does she mean by that? If her job is just so simple as others doing the arrangements and she just need to inform, must well I do it!!!!!!! Then I told my colleague, "oke, nvm, I will check with the senior manager and define the areas she is suppose to do, since she has so many to complain, I also dun want ppl to say I am telling her to do things that she may not be suppose to"

So I exchanged a few rounds of emails with my colleague whom passed the comment to me:

My colleague to me:
I think you might want to talk and discuss it with her first before approaching WL.. anyway, just my suggestion.

My reply to colleague:
She always have complains. I just feel tat if the issue applies to your work area, its oke to approach the SM or AD. She just came to me yesterday or the day before and we discussed and I even told her this was the 1st time we have situation like this. Plus I also not sure if it could be the same person holding two roles. Its better to get advise from Dr G who is the representing our office and will knows better before we inform Prof L. She did not say she does not want to approach our AD!

So personally I feel that if you are task to make arrangements for such seminars, then you are suppose to make the arrangements! If it’s as easy as giving the dates to her and all she needs to do is to send out the email, must well I do correct?

If she feels she is overloaded, she could raise it to WL. Others are also busy, I dun get ppl involve with my area and tries to cope. That’s how we work isn’t it?

My colleague reply to me:
Yes – but sometime not everyone is as proactive … and maybe she is new and do not really know how to go about doing things. She might not know who suppose to confirm the panel members before passing it to her to make the arrangement.. Anyway, I also told her that there is always a lot of grey areas in our work, sometimes when you do a little more, you get to learn and handle it better the next time..

My reply to colleague:
She is supposed to arrange and confirm and send out the emails to all the panel members. That is the flow. She has been doing this since the day she is here (half a year, still new. NEW? maybe semi new). Actually, sending out thesis for examination to the external examiners should also her area but I did it without making a single sound. Should I complain?

She complains bout certification letter she does, change of title she does, change of supervisor she does, every single tasks she complains. So what she intend to only work on? Every one of us has areas we work and cope and deal ALONE. Should I go round complaining too?

I wont tell WL, but I also wont speak or take over from her to arrange the oral examination just because she complains. Just for example, MaXXX arranging for a lunch gathering, she will work from the negotiating with us on preferences of location and dates, to sending out a confirm email to all of us. That’s what I feel term as “making arrangement”.

Maybe when we go through the whole examination procedures for any revision, I will bring it out in a meeting.

I am so damn pissed with her because SHE ALWAYS COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERY SINGLE TASKS SHE IS GIVEN IN HER JOB DESCRIPTION! IF SHE DISLIKE IT SO MUCH WITH WHY CANT SHE JUST QUIT?

She complains about bosses, she complains about working colleagues, she complains about visitors and now she complains about me. If she is really unhappy, she could have come forward and tell me, not TELL THE WHOLE WORLD AND GETTING OTHERS TO BE INVOLVED? What is the point of telling others, and boh ji (gutless) to tell me? How could I even treat her as an adult? (BTW, She is a 40 over spinster)

Should I come to work everyday wasting time complaining about the amount of work I have to do, rushing out thesis, planning visits, clearing emails, planning events, follow up on the outstandings student matters, counselings matters, appeal matters, application matters, phone calls, and the thousand and one misc things and adhoc duty?

And to think that I have been patience enough to hear her grudges and complains and advise her on her work. This is what I get in return. I have enough of ppl taking advantage and for granted about me. I really have the thought of walking up to her and say, "YOU DUN NEED TO WORK. GO HOME AND FUCK YOUR CAT!"

PPL, YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN NOW! !

Next time if she is going to complain again to me, I shall tell her off straight in her face. What is the point of complaining and hope things changed, and not complain to make things change?! __ !

Friends

Have you ever look back at the friendships you have? I have however, recently looked back at the couple of friendships around me.

Being a friend to someone I hold close to, I am the sort who will just do sometimes even more than within my means to extend a helping hand whenever they are in trouble or need a listening ear. Some friends and family menbers have advised or told me to help ppl only within my means but I don know why, whenever someone comes to me, I feel that they must have no one else to turn to. If they have turned to me, they must have really needed some help.

I always believe that having the capability to help others is a blessing than being the one receiving help everytime. Probably becos I have ever experience how it felt when I desperately needed help and someone was there to help without a second thought. I can never forget how relieved I felt at that instant and how gratitude I was.

Friends around me, I have did my part, to put them priority whenever they need to grumble or to vent their frustrations or when they needed help from me, even if it means I am not able to, I will source help from others in order to solve his/her problem.

But then again, while I look back, I realised, whenever I did a favor, a very tiny little favor from others, my request for their help, becomes "If its convenient, I dun mind doing for you".

How many times I have forgo my personal self or take out the time and effort to be there for someone or to help them when they needed help. How many times I faced with attitudes that sort of making me realise that humans are still humans, not every one really mean cherishing friendship and knows the meaning of "helping a friend in need".

How sad that makes me.

Ppl just wont put their friends in need as priority but themselves and they themselves as prority even during that instant when a close friend turn to them for help.

Should I continue to be there and put others as priority still? I am not by default always been there for you, I have many times put in that effort just to bring out the best in you or to go to you whenever you needed someone there.

But then, I shouldnt have thought that you will also do the same.

Friends? This word sound so foreign to me now.

After watching the forum documentary last night about the cleaniless of the public washrooms in singapore. I actually translated those disgusting scenes into my dreams. Firstly was a scene in my kitchen toilet bowl, unflushed, toilet papers and faeces in it. I turned away feeling nausea then went back to flush. The 1st flush did not seems to get the unsightly stuff sucked off. I did a second attempt. This time, the water keeps running and running and running and overflow, with stains of faeces on the toilet floor and what happen next is to clean the whole washroom with BAREHANDs.


Then the next scene brought me to the toilet in my mother's room, with all my bags bags on the toilet floor and some unwashed white clothings. Then again I went to flush the bowl, again the bowl was over flooded and watery faeces oozed out from the bowl. The worst scene was to see the water flowing onto the toilet floor and moving closer and closer to my "mulberry" carrier and the dirty water seeped through the bag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank god I woke up right after this scene. I cant imagine how would I have done to the toilet flush in revenge...

You've got me thinking for the 1st time...

now i know it isn't easy
the things i've put you through
i have no right to do
you try so very hard to please me
but i'm remote from you
so rarely close to you

you've got me thinking for the first time
about the things i've said and done
now i see things much more clearly
feels like the change must surely come
it's not as if i couldn't realise
i was hurting you
soul-searching you
sensing your bravery
feeling unsavoury most of the time
well have i been so blind?

you've got me thinking for the first time
about the things i've said and done
and now i see things much more clearly
feels like the change must surely come
well you've no reason for believing
but i'm tired of all this self-deceiving

you've got me thinking for the first time
about the things i've said and done
and now i see things much more clearly
feels like the change must surely come
you've got me thinking for the first time...

Since you asked me

I cant really pin point what I like or dislike about you but probably, generally, I could speak for the general traits I dislike about men, in general, are as follows:


1) Ooze and fix your glances at passing by girls. We all love pretty things yes, but its just shallow to be attracted by pretty surface. And yes that will get me super jealous and gives a discount to your character well being. I basically dislike my dates to be out with me, but then his eyes are fixed on other ah chios ah lians ah huays. If they are seriously very gorgeous, I will tell you to look together with me. But if your eyes are roaming around and at ah lians who are dressed with little cloth, that really makes me discount your character. I mean, comon! have some respect for your date or gf! And I super duper dislike those man who obviously are checking out on other girls but when confronted, they strongly deadly deny and became so self defence over it that they became angry first before you could even confront them. I am disgusted with dates like that or have guys looking/staring at me while their wives or gfs are holding their arms. Sometimes, I wish I could turn invisible and give them a tight slap across their fucking face.

2) I hate men who likes to brag about their achievements, their good nature, their gentlesman-ness only to realise their masks after knowing more about them or when they start to let down their guards. I mean, if you could complain about women cheating on their beauty with thick make ups, arent you doing the same, arse?

3) I hate men who blames women and push off responsibility in the nick of time. I hate men when they obviously knew they have hidden agenda but could argue their way through and wash off responsibility off from their dirty hands. Cowards do that, they shouldnt even consider themselves a man. Hi Coward!

4) I dislike wishy washy ppl who actually do not know what they want but insist they know then after dont know if they know. If you are an immortal, dun waste other's time. Other ppl only live their lifetime once only.

5) Overly egoistic man are also disgusting people who wants to win in every single conversations or must win any guys, or must win at friendly games or even beat strangers at the traffic light.


So basically, ppl who are faithful, humble, responsible, serious with great sense of humour and are knowledgeable and knows what they want, will be good!

The white lotus painting

I remember you said you could imagine that scene of me painting alone.

Here is how is how I think you have in mind of me painting alone in my little room:























Incomplete.

The lotus is abit tough and challenging for me this time becos I have little experiences painting flowers. I have only worked on the second layer of petals which, are pending to dry up before I repaint each petal again to thicken the layers and to build on the contrast.

When can I complete this?????? I really dun know..

The milk man

Yes, the packet of ice with two bottles of goat milk were delivered promptly by them at our door steps. This is the 4th bi-weekly delivery and I have been drinking them, although not one cup each day but every time when I remember either in the morning or night. But two bottle are quite too much for a irregular milk lover so I got my parents to forcefully help me finish them up asap too in order to retain the freshness of the milk.

So far, I have not develop any gastric pain or irritation to my bowels except for once or twice when I drank with empty stomach and there were lots of wind or grinding, thats all.

Thank you for these and it makes me feel you are back near me. Till we meet again, soon!