LIAhhh Sup Por.

You wrote a blog
A blog of entries for my reading pleasure

You wrote a blog,
Which slowly evolves into one
that seems one you wrote for me

The entries became a dedication
One which you hope to creates stirs and hurt in me
But all failed
Yet hurting and trouble yourself even more
Why do you chose to be involve in the 1st place?
Blame yourself for wanting to be a player in this game.

And what do you get at the end of the day?
You become a mockery.

What's those pictures and words for?
Hoping to send thousand arrows into me?
Hey girl, don't have to tell me how lovey dovey they will be
They are not a threat nor do they twitch me.

Don't know why you chose to be controlled by me.
Your writings which you hope to be envied by me, plotting it against me.
I dun know why you personalise it for me.
Why it become so fake and narrated out just for me?

Don't know why you wanna act smart and be controlled by me.

It is not a shame to tell others your ups and downs.
It is a shame to conceal those downs and pretend what good life you are leading right now.

Why do you look at yourself so down?
The prune and the raisin on your lip are unique.
Don't conceal or cover it.

One man show

"Today I will be on course" Said my mentor. My jaw dropped and stared back at her. "You mean I will have to flow the orders alone? You mean after imparting me your knowledge for the passed 3 wks and you are leaving me alone? You mean I will be alone?" I thought and laughed.

Sadly, yes that is the truth. Urgent orders, super urgent orders, pull ups, new orders, run induction, inform POD to print my client's orders 1st, inform the warehouse to arrange delivery. How can I arrange to get my client's order printed, and delivered within 2 hrs??? Thank god I managed.

And its not just doing one client account. Multi tasking doing for 4 or 5 client accounts. Things went smoothly with little hiccups as and when but manageable.

At the end of the day. I realized, I have sent out 17 emails in a day. I ended my day today, smiling. I am glad I did it!

Life is great!!!

Final Reply to Sab for the whole issue - case closed and filed for record

Whatever, anything. Life goes on. Though you have not explain why you will give him your blog add to read, let's just close the chapter. All for our good and moving on. :)

In addition hor, tell your chocolate chip (maybe no need to tell lah, she is reading this) to get a hold of herself cos she know nuts about the issues back then and is in no position to even comment or relates herself. She really talks nuts about me during that period saying she is capable to do thing legal or illegally (blah blah blah...black sheep......). Common! Stop acting like a xiao tai mei wanna be. And if she wanna jump out from her window after seeing all my comments about her, perhaps you should just let her be. Just like how she felt when someone is upset and hurt, the someone should just die.


To end it off, below is a poem I feel for this whole issue:

The writer wrote the story
The readers read different meanings
All becos the writer uses different vocabulary, when plotting the story.

Different readers, the writer writes differently
All for his own glory

I am one of the readers
It has confused me.
I decide this is not for me.
Thus I close the chapter
and tossed it back to the shelve

I rambles my fingers thru the dozen, million book spines
The dozen, million stories, in a dozen, million books, shelved neatly.
All waiting to be picked.

I continue my journey, walking my pace slowly, all for a new story
A genuine story written by the writer whom interests me
A writer who will not confuse me
A writer who will not write different stories.
That is the writer I will hope to see.

The book which I have tossed, remains closed and chilly.
It sits under the "mystery and myth" category,
and waits for a suitable reader to take it into custody.

The writer still believes,
Someone will be convinced, in his different meaning stories.
But not me.

Ciao!

Reply to Sab

Thank you for clearing up but what hurt is done. And whatever said no longer matters cos what you wrote was not what he passed across. I am leading a good life thank you. You will still be the slut or bitch or whatever. What did I edit to your pic I forgot. How many was there? I really forgot. But I guess I did not post the full clear face on my blog, be glad. And I took the time to mosaic the eyes, blur the pic (I think) so that both your real identity will not be discovered. Cant you see I was trying so hard to protect your anonymity? LOL! Damn! Just blame it that your friend is a damn good picture spotter. My blog is so wordy! Put whatever you like, show me the wedding photos too if ever the day comes.

I feel blessed but pitiful of him that he has to be such a loser when it comes to matter of hearts. What done cannot be undone. Evryone sees things in their own perspectives and it takes luck, to let others understand your thoughts or my thoughts cos everyone of us see things differently.

While you are in BKK with him, we are in a cooling off period. We have not broken off. After your blog add was exposed and I read thru, we had a bad fight in my house, afterwhich he said both no longer in contact but then again soon after he said he went for your friend’s bday celebration with you. He said many many many many things to confuse my thoughts and I hate that most which leads me to live everyday in fear. You are a woman yourself, I hope you be in my shoe and understand that kind of pain and anger and agony. And do you know he said you do not know my relationship with him was on rock while he was in BKK with you and your friends? And then do you know he said he wanted to break up and be back to his single life again, back to the time in his poly days when he can do many things carefreely etc etc. Strangely, suddenly he is attach again, and with you some more which he was so firm against the idea of being with you and how much he dislike that idea. What is he talking about? That is the double standards he always practice which I always like to argue with him when I see it happening again.

I will not have been so upset if his new partner is not you. When I knew about it, I felt being conned, again. If he has really mean that you are not the cause, you are not involve, you are not a choice, you are not in the picture at all, you are not what he wanted, you are not his cup of tea, then why will it turn out that his next gf will be you? Again, that is for you and him to know. Maybe its just another love on rebound, maybe it was becos you were there when he was down, etc etc and thus eventually he fell for you, etc etc. Truth or lies is just a thin line. It depends on individual to believe or doubt. I chose not to find an answer and with him now out from my life, I find myself happier and healthier.

How could a guy, planning for ROM and planning to propose on my bday and get over a 3 over years relationship, suddenly started a new relationship so soon after the broken up? And how he suddenly fell and be in a relationship with you when he never will like you and he said it till as in a “guarantee plus chop” die also will not-be-with-you manner.

What is he talking about?! What is he doing?! I dun know, those were my everyday thoughts thinking why why why and what what what.

We really broke off when I find out he still meet up with you and that was the final draw I gave him. That was the final draw cos again, I gave the trust when he said he never meet you anymore ever again. And what happen after I gave the trust to this person who always complain I never trust him? I got hurt, Double the price I paid.

I guess that was in June when we broke up. And when you both stopped contacting? For how long? 1 day? 1 wk? And when both of you started back in contact? Finding time to hang around again and developing into a couple? I guess that was quite a fast hitch isn’t it? What a sudden change in attitude don’t you think? Are you doing some soul searching? Are you thinking about his feelings for you now, again? Don’t be. He truly loves you. Love you to the fact that he could cock up a lame plot to shake his gf off, and give time buffer time, before starting a new one. No one knows, not even you. Like I said earlier, only he and his soul will know. No one knows what he actually plan to want during that period of time. Everything just seems to fall in place nicely. Thinking back, I realize he has been a hideous monster. Dangerous and not a simple man after all. Maybe that was the agreement both of you have. To wait for the storm to clear. I dun know and do not wanna know or thinking over why why why, cos it does not matter. :)

What was his mentality? What is his motive? What is he thinking? I no longer wanna an explanation cos those are not impt to me anymore thus as you can see, I am willing to communicate with you here thru our blog. Maybe one day, we maybe be emailing each other, adding each other in friendster, or even msn-ing. LOL! Maybe, there may be such a day. But one thing for sure, he is a loser in the whole damn thing and there will never be a such thing as forgive, morally unforgiven.

He is damn loser who juggle two women in his hands and wants both sides of the world before he decide what he wants. And when one side is no longer available as a choice for him, he jumps for the other since that is still an open option. And he made the whole issue, you becoming the slut, you you you. You at fault seducing attached men. You who fantasies about him so much. You who desperately needs him in your life.

You mentioned that the handphone number issue was something which you passed on to an auntie and it landed in his hands. Then what about your blog add which was pass to him? Just mainly to show him the GE pics? Or core values is to show him what you have written about him during the GE days how you went ga ga over him? Or was the blog add pass to the auntie again (so as to keep in contact with you?) and dun know why it landed in his hand again? Again, this, only the two of you know. I dont think it is a matter to me anymore.

And again, why your msn blog add was make known to me? Cos he confided in our common friends and he said he dun want to read your blog and doubt your attention and thus pass it to my guy friend , saying "You wanna read, go read lor!" therefore, I got the blog add and given the chance to read about your admiration.

In your blog that moment, you wrote that I was the someone in between both of yous. Strange, since when I become a third party between the two of you when I was the rightful gf back then??? Sab, that was all my doubts back then but really, it does not matters anymore. Everyone has to move on I know, you know. Am glad you took the time to communicate and explain. I appreciate that for letting me see both sides of the story. Now I am damn sure he is jolly well just a loser that’s all. And, even if you spend, dun show him the price tag, dun give him another additional valid excuse to ditch you.

A sister’s words…

I’m the most neutral and had the privileges of witnessing the loser of the century. He said it was you who came to him and gave him your mobile number because you liked him. He said it was you who asked him to BKK, knowing he was still attached. He said he’d die with my sis with his gun should anything bad happens to her! He even asked me out for coffee with Ron to Holland Village and explained that he still loved my sister, and he would not fall for you because you are not his kind.

Throughout the whole ordeal, he put you in the worst light, shaping that image of a relationship wrecker, desperado and shameless slut. It was everything about YOU, and never him.

So take a page from me. Such man is simply not worth it. A man who’s so bad in managing relationships can never be a man who can provide you with any sense of happiness unless you can survive just only the two of you in this world.

It doesn’t matter when both of you get together. The fact is, both of you are already together now. But like my sister, I also wish that both of you marry. At least then, you’d understand what my sister went through. Good luck.

Another week...

Finally, another week ended. Without logging on to msn and friendster and personal email, I have been concentrating serious well at work. Almost every min, I am working. Lunch time was also talking about work. No time to think about what's fun. After lunch is brushing teeth and pouring a cup of water and start working. No more coffee, no more munching, no more gossiping with colleagues. I look as if going for a war. It's either alive or dead.

It has discipline me enough to take bus home. It has discipline me to wake up at 6:30am. It has discipline me to wear jeans ONLY ON FRIDAY. It has discipline me to wear a proper shoe and not sandals to work. It has discipline me well to wear shirts, blouse, pants, skirts, dresses to work. It has discipline me to wear my lanyard ard my neck, wherever I am within the building.

Lunch is always with free dishes to top up what I already ordered. :) I am thankful of all those in TW. And hope to shine soon, if I can.... :)

It has not been easy. 6 yrs in stat board doing publications, now that I am back in the private sector, starting all over again, learning all brand new things, catching up with the pace, getting used to the life of without the existence of red tapes. All comes to me at one go. LOL! I guess I am quite a sadist and extremist.

Many times in the morning, I do thought of giving up, its just tough. I miss the carefree life I led. Walking back home, buying lunch back and eat cosily at my corner desk. But many times this thought was oppose when I thought of how things will never be easy before they are tough.

Life is always about learning. I must grit my teeth and pass this test I set for myself. That I can do it. Its just a matter of whether I want, or not let it happen.

Broken English

"Broken english" is a very emotional movie, well at least for me. Parker Posey seems to have acted me in this show. The panick attacks, the thoughts when she thought things will work out, the disappointment. Well! The only difference is I did not sleep with different men to "try if things will work out" or setting up many dates after my break up (which is so long ago). Seeing her, I cried for myself and not for her. I spent a nice 5mins to cry in the toilet after the show cos I thought no one will understand me but I see "me" in this show. Cowardness and distrust to start a new relationship. The wanting and afraid to kind to feeling. The gamble which is just too hard to even put any stake on it when we thought over things too much.

And how her friend, though "happily" stayed and celebrated the recent 5th anniversary, had a one night stand with a complete stranger and how she hides her wedding ring and felt so guilty over her actions. So is marriage means happily ever after? This leaves everyone ponders.

Everyone is just searching for a companion and I am one of the minority who is searching for magic. Thus making it tough for others and for my own self. BUt I am very happy with my current life. :) Nothing can be so wonderfully happy when I love myself more now.


Below is the synopsis:

In a startling mature and nuanced performance, Parker Posey plays Nora Wilder, a thirty-something Manhattanite who is cynical about love and relationships, in this astute collaboration with first-time writer/director Zoe Cassavetes. Nora plugs away at her job in a posh downtown hotel and can't help but wonder what it is she has to do to find a relationship as ideal as her friend Audrey's (Drea De Matteo) "perfect marriage." It doesnt help that her overbearing mother (Gena Rowlands) takes every opportunity to remind Nora that she's still unattached. After a series of disastrous first dates, she meets Julien (Melvin Poupaud), a seemingly devil-may-care Frenchman with a passion for living. Expecting another disastrous ending, Nora tries to avoid making the same mistakes. She finds herself in Paris looking to break old patterns. Inevitably, Nora has to look inward before she can find a new outlook on life and most importantly, love.



Catch it soon!!!!!

For you to read and think

If you have been confident, you will not even thought of "what if". Why will you even thought of "what if" and then rule out that thought by encouraging yourself you will not make that happen. Are you clinging on becos of ego? Or true love? Are you worry of others wagging their tougues when you never last with him? Anyway let me note this to you too. Getting married together does not mean "live happily ever after". So do not think once you reach the stage of marrying him means you have proved to everyone.

Every relationships there will definitely involve arguments (miscommunication) therefore you need not try so hard to paint a fairy tale in your blog and bear the anger you have of him (sometimes) in reality. What a hard life you lead.

While you think I do not know what actually happen then, do you know what really happen when everything you hear is from him and you never see or hear what and how he spoke to me when we have the big fight? Maybe you heard more from common friends, maybe you hear more from him when things are over now. Maybe. Maybe its true, maybe its not. Cos truth hurts. He will not want to hurt you now cos, what matter now is you. That was how he treats me too. I am no longer with him so why will he even bother about my feelings and he can say whatever he likes. Its the same cycle do you even know?

It does not matter you know sab? Cos I no longer need to live in tether ends over it. What actually goes on in his mind, only he will know. You will not know too cos if a person wanna hide, he will never tell the truth. Only his heart knows better. No one will know.

Slowly you will understand what I am talking about. Of cos now he will be badmouthing about me and said things like he just cant stand my temper, I am behaving like his brother's ex etc. I heard enough. Are you sure these are the only reason and he is a saint? Think again with your brain if you have one. I think you better drop your idea of buying that armani glass else he will be thinking you are not planning for marriage.

I really hope both will get married. Cos you have been thru so much with him and since you are so sure he will be the one, even after he can do this to me, and you do not worry whether it will happen to you too? I really hope he will marry you.

Treating you good is nothing. All the phone callings, shopping, meeting up friends etc. Remember, he is a self centred person who wants his own personal space when he finds an activity more interesting to do. Nvm, you may not know what I mean, slowly, it takes time.

A man can tell you all the assurance in this world. But in the nick of time if he really can do it on his own accord or becos of peer pressure or caring for his own face, only he will know. You will never ever know. Do you know how coward he was when your presence in the whole issue was made known?

I am glad I need not face this uncertainty. You have given him all your trust your love your whole body. At the end of the day when things end, you will feel like a complete fool.

I hate you becos I cant believe a woman like you will have ulterior motives (that was what he describe to me) who pass your number to him despite fact that ppl already warn you that he is attached, you do not feel apologetic inviting him over to bangkok becos you dun know he was having a problem with me. He made you sound cheap, desperate and thick-skinned. He mentioned you purposefully gave him your blog add so that he can read about your affection towards him but he simply cant be bother to even read about it and gave it to another friend instead while he was bothering over our problem. He was lying to me, and to you. I do not understand why you are so protective of him, probably thats what ppl term it as love blindly or love is blind. I hope you learn to protect yourself more.

What I feel are what he told me. What you feel are what he told you. What our friends feel are what he told our friends. Those Wilson and Ron, I have no comments on them. They can bitch all they wants and I can bitch all I want. My level of hates on you depends on what he told me about you. Its just so simple.

If you think you are not affected, will you even blog about it knowing I reads your blog? Common, stop behaving like a little girl in your fantasy dreams. Now it's your turn to face this uncertainty. You all can talk and think why person like me exist in this world, while me and my friends also thought why ppl like you exist in this world.

In summary, every one deserves to be existing in this world. Its not something we can chose. Just, do not do things to make yourself happy so as to sacrifice others. Even if he never chose you back then, he will never be the person I love anymore. Everything ended when I finally thought thru that. Yes, he is a self centred, coward and con man who hides his true self too well only time will tell. So be patience and observe.

I have never been so happy and relieved in my life. Throughout my years with him, we have our happy moments, I cooked for him, he picks love seeds for me, I bring him towel while he is playing basketball, he bought my lunch when I am working. Most of the reasons why I would start a quarrel becos he always, always have been double standards.

He just wan someone who gives him his freedom to do what HE WANTS to when he wants. Someone fun. He likes to argue and laughed at you, putting you down. That was not a healthy relationship I was in all this while. Love is blind. I have been blinded and while emotions been ruled out, in reality, he is not the one for me.

I may not know the whole story. you do not too. But the difference is, I need no longer think if he is telling the truth cos I am not with him anymore.

I do not feel jealous nor envy, seriously. I am a very straight forward person. I just felt this relationship which I have so much confidence in (just like how you feel right now) in, it is just not worth it. I gain nothing telling you all these. Even if you break with him, he will not come back for me and I will not want him back too. We are totally finished. Now that you are in my position, other girls out there will be vying in your position. It runs in a vicious cycle.

I wish you all the best and hope your karma will not come too soon or will even come.

The gd need not b gd, the bad is not that bad

The good need not look too good
The bad is not that bad

You can continue to act as if you can embrace your enemy, I cannot do that
I am not the cunning sly fox
Who gets on by
By acting like a victim in disguise

The fact that you are involve right from the start, and you see no shame
Yet thinks you act a victim. Oh what a shame! What a shame!

I dun know how to please, and will not do that
For that is not my style and never will be
Bygones are bygones tho opinions of yous remain the same.

I am me
You can continue and act saint wanna make peace
But you are just a piece of shit
Everyone can chose to believe but not me
For the tail will slowly show, when the moon came full
And when darkness fall,
Your true face reveals.

Both of you are losers
One has to plot and lie to escape from blames
Another act innnocent, unintentionally involved.\
Both are losers who dare not admit falling for each other and taking up the blame
And having to go to the extend of confusing someone of what's goes on
Nearly sacrifising my life for your plots, is that part of your plan? That I self kill is simple only becos I do not accept the separation?

Do you not understand morons? I rather self destroy than to continue facing monsters, both are too demonic.

What you say will not change my opinion of you.
Others may think I am petty or still bearing grudges
But no one knows who made me go thru hell and hang me on thin wires.
For none of you is me
I do not blame you.

But I see no needs, to make peace or forgive and embrace you
There is a limit to everything
You shall sink, you will be banish.
Nothing you do will make you a saint tho the mask you wear is a picture of a saint

Your soul is equally ugly like his
Both are the demons from within
Planning ideas no one will see
And soon, both will be plotting against each other
And mind games begin

Then hell will break loose
And I will be watching soon.

Please, stop acting and putting up shows.
You are outgoing, you suit him. I admit we are not compatible. I never regret walking away not even turning my head back to take a second look. I never want to be with someone I do not want to be with anymore. But the fact of how both has to lie and plot and confuse someone's else's thought, I really despise you.

You fell for a loser who dare not admit and confess his love for you
He rather sacrifise you and label you as a third party so that he escapes all the blames.

You dare not fight for love losers. Plotting plotting plotting for the world to see. Internally you are still you, both are wicked, cunning, selfish, gutless, and fights between two demons are wonderful to watch.

Both are losers who find comfort in each other for the mistake is identical. Therefore the bond is there for both are weak and need to lean against each other for support and not becoming a laughing stock.

Nothing last forever, not for you. Prepare for the worst and hope for the better. This I learnt from my position and maybe one of these days you will understand the lesson of life, if you are lucky enough. Else you will forever be kept in a fairy tale story, if he can plot a plot, you can never find out. That is much worst than the truth can show you. For you will never be granted a chance to learn and be better.

Guai Lan Auntie

Nice! I went for a recap for transformer on friday night. Midnight I should say. Yes, I watch it the second time, LOL! The same jokes and scenes still gives me the same kick. And though the show is still as nice, I doze off nearer to the ending part. Hehe...dun blame me man, I am just too tired and the ambience is just too cosy.

By the time I got home and settled for bed, its 3am. Woke up 7:45am for my pre employment check up at Raffles Hospital then heading down to the nearby temple and it was damn crowded. I took 3 joss sticks and squeezed my way through the crowd. Then, someone shoved me away and stepped on my toe. I pull back my feet and the kiasu auntie nearly fell. She looked at me, and I said "Auntie, you stepped on my feet you know?" and you know what she did? Guai Lan auntie re-stepped on my feet, this time is full force. And you got what I did? I use my leg to hook hers and then she tries to balance herself when I trip her, before she vanished into the crowd. An old lady comforted me. I complained and say "That auntie damn GUAI LAN!" Afterwhich I walked off and proceed to my normal offering. I was so damn pissed with the GUAI LAN auntie.

Age is just number and this guai lan auntie again, proved this statement to me. I really wish to have stuff the joss sticks into her mouth and tear off her blouse or stuff her head into the urn full of dust. Maybe I should have hold her and call for police and charge her for causing hurt, INTENTIONALLY. Fucking bitch.

Then suddenly I realised the change in me. If it has been in the past, I would have just quietly endure. I see this as a good change. I have learn to protect myself more. :)

Thank you GUAI LAN auntie for making me realizing this change and may your feet rot with maggots crawling.

The one who laugh last, laugh the best!

If you have read my previous entry, this is a continuation of my thoughts. Out of the five pointers, I have accomplished 3. They are: Be patient, Learn from it and Be grateful.

Guess all the while I have been lying to myself and everyone that I have gotten over it cos just by this report, I have not seems officially and rightfully “recovered” as term by the professionals since I still hold resentments and have not forgive yet. But I feel, I am oke leh. Pass my everyday happily and I really mean jovially happy. I've got many nice people around me. :)

I dun twitch even reading you blog. It sound so cliché. I read for updates just like reading the news report, who has died, who in accident, who is in the obituary report, any thieves or murderer caught and charged in court etc.

I am glad I make a decision to change my job. It occupies my thoughts everyday and becos of you Sab-pig and Jail-son, I am motivated to work harder. Thank you both for being my motivation. I will learn to forgive your adultery and sins. I will be able to do it one of these days. I wish you both loving dovey everyday, dun ever let me have a chance to jeer at you, just like how you did.

Can you forgive—for real?

By Margot Carmichael Lester We’ve all had our hearts hurt (maybe even broken). But carrying around that old hurt doesn’t help in our quest to find a new love. In fact, it can keep us from that very thing. So why not use July 16 (which is Get Out of the Doghouse Day) to forgive those who trespass against us. It’s a solid step forward in our journey to love.

“Blaming someone else for your pain is a downward-spiraling cycle,” says Susanne Alexander, author of Can We Dance? Learning the Steps for a Fulfilling Relationship. “What ends relationships is usually a complex mix of actions, reactions, and miscommunications on both sides. Holding onto bitterness robs you of joy in your daily life and the opportunity of recognizing what new doors are opening as old ones close.”

But why should we forgive the mean old so-and-so who breaks our heart? Alexander is clear: “Forgiveness isn’t saying that what the person did was OK. It simply turns the person over to God or the universe or some power greater than you to handle.”

Here’s how to do just that:

• Be patient. “The end of a relationship is, in a sense, a death experience,” explains Patricia Campbell Carlson, executive director of A Network for Grateful Living. “If we can be patient with ourselves and allow these grief feelings to come up, bearing in mind that they rise and recede in waves and will not last forever, we eventually come to a more accepting, forgiving shore.”
• Let go. “The more you hold resentment toward the former partner, the more you will be stuck in the past instead of creating a new future,” Alexander notes. “If you practice prayer or meditation, these can assist you in detaching your emotions from the person and the circumstances and then in asking for help in going forward without the burdens of the past.”
• Learn from it. “It will help you to move out of grieving into gratitude if you look for what you gained from the relationship and where the two of you were incompatible,” Alexander counsels. “Identifying where the relationship did not work well is vital so that you make different and better choices in a future relationship.”
• Forgive. If you practice prayer or meditation, these can assist you in detaching your emotions from the person and the circumstances and ask for help in going forward without the burdens of the past.
• Be grateful. “We can be grateful that our hearts feel as powerfully as they do, even amidst sadness, longing, and need,” Carlson notes. “If we can recognize our own perspective, we will be more open as well to our ex-partner’s point of view. We may discover an understanding of why someone hurt us, because we recognize in ourselves that same capacity to inflict hurt. We may even discover an inner stability we never knew we had, that goes deeper than all the shifting feelings we have.”

“Life is a constant series of learning lessons and personal growth,” Alexander notes. “Whatever occurs is an opportunity to learn, grow, and change. Whatever you learn through this incident will serve you well in the future. Accepting what occurred in the relationship will free you to move forward.”

Adds Carlson: “We learn through this painful act of forgiving an ex — which is like trying to open a tight fist — how to forgive in smaller ways all along in our relationships, which leads to healthy communication. Even though it’s hard as can be to learn forgiveness, for our own sake it’s the most healing thing we can possibly do.”

Margot Carmichael Lester is a writer living and working in Carrboro, NC. She is the author of The Real Life Guide to Life After College and The Real Life Guide to Starting Your Career.

My grand opening at new place

It been a tiring week. Monday was my 1st day reporting for work at my new company. I had a 2 hrs orientation (induction they called it) with the personnel from HR, giving me an overview of my company's vision, core values, company history, achievements, etc and then she started to sing me the company's song. LOL! After that, she lead me to the 6th floor to look at the old antique machineries, and told me to remember the 4 top heads of the company in case I ever see them, I have to greet them. Oke, I try my best to remember and visual and recognise if I can.

Then after was loh-bohing at my new desk, do some cleaning up and I realised my current desk is so much smaller than my previous workstation. But since this new company depends mostly on electronic documentations and mails, that really helps to save alot of space on my desk and thus the issue of big desk or small desk is no longer an issue. Then was lunch with my pri sch schoolmate, dehan, who is now my colleague and lunch partner. After lunch was another induction by the business excellence manager, and that ends my 1st day, taking a ride from dehan, I manage to reach home early.

Tues was round of induction by different managers again, bring me to see the data management, the structure, plating, prepress etc, then was on the job training, trying out the system and figuring out how to use it, colleagues feeding me the procedures and I was so damn serious over all the steps. And thank god, I got Desmond to send me home.

Today, again, induction, by the warehouse manager, giving me an overview of the turnkey, kitting, warehouse operation, what are the common terms they use at work, and with abit of my experience with my past vendors, I thank god I was able to understand what they are saying (sometimes) and was able to pick up things fairly well. Then was to the post press to understand the machines the plant is engaging with, the SOP, the different sections...and I will say, this new company that I am joining, is certainly a place where ppl are willing to impart knowledge and lend a helping hand. Then back on my desk, loh-bohing again till the end of the day. I tried out the route I planned for myself and guess what? I manage to reach home smoothly by 7:15pm!

Tommorrow is thusday. I left one more induction to complete and should be starting working on the operations soon.

I can no longer wear shabbily to work, wear jeans any day I like, or my birken sandals to work. The new environment requires me to wear cover up shoes, strictly no jeans unless friday, wear my dog tag every day and no radio! I have been obedient, so far, for the 1st three days, and planning what to wear on thusday, but I am looking forward to friday wear I can wear my fav, JEANS! Yahoo!!! Although msn is officially usable in office, but I am afraid to log on to my msn.

With 114 contacts, 30 over online daily, 9 or more dialogue windows flashing in my past record, I guess I should not dig myself a hole to jump in man. Maybe I will just create a new msn for purely work purpose.

I really dun now how long can I last being obedient. LOL!!! Oh god! Please trust tat I can! I can be a good person, not setting the fashion trend in the office, leading the girls to wear jeans in a fasionable way even on monday and not get caught! LOL!!!! I have that strong urge to be defiant to challenge the policies again!

The best part is, my direct reporting manager, is the sister of the company's boss, and, my work station, is just next to the daughters of the owner of the company. I really dun know whether to laugh or cry. But everyone is very supportive and friendly so far. They make me feel that asking questions are not sins, they encourage me by telling me they understand I am new with no background, in return, I learn to be as independent as I can so that they can concentrate on their daily hectic work instead of taking care of me. I try to pick up things fast asap so that I can start working asap. And I want to be recognise at work. I wanna soar! I think I hope I can! :)

Dim Sum Dollies

The Dim Sum Dollies! It was hilarious! Hossan Leong was in many different roles, the three dollies fantastic voices, their multi accents mimic so well! It was a very entertaining show. Catch it if you can. Expect some mixture of our english, mandarin, berhasa malay, tamil languages, singlish, and dialects.

Synopsis

The Dim Sum Dollies return to the Esplanade with their popular Cabaret show. This time, the tasty trio tackle the biggest story of them all - The History of Singapore! On stage, in 2 hours!

Catch Sang Nila Utama wondering if it truly was a lion he saw, Raffles leading his contingent of mosquito-beating ang mohs, bungling J-pop pilots and clueless British soldiers deciding where to aim their big guns!

The Dollies breathe new rib-tickling life into Samsui Women, Ah Ma Chehs, Malay Kampong Beauties, Money-lending Dhobis and Opium Dens - then morph into terrifying Peranakan Matriarchs and Hainanese Chefs whipping up killer pork chops!

From Cavemen roaming our fair shores, to getting kicked out of Malaysia. From tea dances and beehives to giant amusement parks. There's a tear-jerking ballad or show-stopping tune waiting to be sung!

An All-New Cabaret Comedy of Epic Proportions!
HISTORY will NEVER be the same again!

Directed by Glen Goei.
Starring the Dim Sum Dollies, Selena Tan, Pam Oei and Emma Yong
With Hossan Leong, 6 hot Beefcakes and a LIVE BAND!

Presented by Singapore Press Holdings

My well planned Sat, 30 June 07

The 933 fm broad casted the song my friend, Alban composed. Yes, that demo I helped him to sing. It won the most votes and he was interviewed by the DJ. Feel so weird to hear my voice broadcasted over a national station.

Last sat, I went for Alban's wedding at MOX. Ginnise and I went there abit late and glad to be able to find the place in no time. Was quite surprised that the groom was actually waiting for us to arrive before he wants to start playing the piano piece and sing the song he dedicate to his wife. And his wedding door gift is, the demo cd we recorded!! My god........

It was my 1st time attending such a romantic jazzy setting wedding in a pub. The dim light settings, the contemporary sofa and high chairs, the wine bar, grand piano....wow........chic!

Then was to Sim Lim to acc ginnise asking for pricing of PSB...then was making my way to farrer road to meet my family for dinner at West Lake Rest, before going to IMM to buy somethings and walk abit, before I end my day at home finally.

Currently enjoying my one week "honeymoon" at home, drawing, painting, msn-ing, packing up the room, watching more tv programmes and going out shopping......probably also exercising more....time seems not enough everyday!!!!!!