A roller coaster ride....

It was a roller coaster ride for me. A friend of mine has out of the blues, sent me a sms. A very long and sincere sms which I could never imagine he would send but he did. The sms goes like this:

“Dear all, One year ago, on this day…I was lying in the hospital…and nothing could predict wat would happen. Today, I am glad I can still be the one sms-ing you. In this one year, many things have changed, ppl come and gone. But the fact that I bother to include you in this sms means something. I appreciate you. We might not be the best of friends, inseparatable ,,but you mean something to me, you’re special, and I am very glad to have known you and I am glad to be able to send this sms to you. J Thanks for being part of my life and for staying there…”

It took me quite a while to react and I dun know how to really react, wondering if that is a joke or prank by him. By the time I react back to reality, a great sense of guilt blanket over me. Many many months back, I deleted him and a few others from my network, hoping to completely erase this friendship from my memory. I was also a little upset with him because there was a time when I smsed him to borrow back the Fallen Angel painting from him, he did not reply my message. I thought, as usual, he don’t reply messages unless he is the one messaging. I didn’t know that a serious incident had happen to him….

The sms that came from him, I guess was not really an easy one. Count himself lucky to be able to awake from his coma and recover from his brain injury or any other injuries. Many others may just sleep and never wake up. Just like my grandma…All of the sudden, I panicked. Afraid to loss any of my loved ones (Baby, that is why I asked you to come and meet me at my office after your work and have the run together from there because I was suddenly feeling very alone and I do not want run solely).

I do not know how serious he was hurt because he did not elaborate further, moreover the accident has happen about a year. I didn’t want to ask too much to make him recall that painful process. This sms has also made me realized that sometimes, it seems like I am the one who is not treasuring friendships around me. I felt really guilty and sad, for not being there while he was struggling for his life. I always thought to him, I am just an acquaintance, a hi bye friend and everyone moves on. This sms from him also made me realized that he really has treated me as a friend. I just hope he could live a better life now and more lucky things will happen to him.

Then at the same time, another friend of mine was showing me the bride maid’s dresses. We discussed, picked and chose from the few pictures she sent me. I was feeling so happy for her and excited about the maid’s dress (opps, bride’s maid dress I mean) that I will be wearing on her big day. Suddenly I imagine her in gown and crying, and me scolding her not to smudge her makeup. We were childhood friends, attended same primary school together, stays near each other, and we both know each of our family members. We have seen each other at the age of 7 or 8 years old, till now that we are of the marriageable age. I cannot describe how happy I am for her.

After a roller coaster ride between the two events, all I could say is, I am sorry my friends, if I have neglected or drifted away from you………truly sorry if I seem uncaringly…..