Are we really more fortunate?

I believe that many readers here are attached or have been attached before. Dating has become a part and parcel of our daily lives that sometimes, it becomes a routine.

A relationship is like a tuck man’s model where in the beginning ("forming stage"), a dating couple is preoccupied with orienting themselves, being polite and understanding towards each other. Then it will proceed into a "storming stage" where conflicts and disagreements started to surface out, differentiating the views, believes, values and mindset between them.

Some fortunate ones progress into the "norming stage" where both acknowledge and respect the differences, engage in common activities and are committed to maintain and solving issues. Some, unfortunately, ends at the "storming stage". Many of us are struggling between the "storming" and "norming" stage in our relationships.

Today I was riding in my dad’s car, watching their backs facing me, while they argue about the very finest and tiny little matters among them. They are my dad and mum. Suddenly I realized that they have been staying together for almost 35 years and still ongoing. Wow, how that happens? My mum and dad dated each other and got married and have been facing each other since then till now. Same goes to many of my friends’ parents whom still stay together with their husband or wife even till today. How that happens, I wonder. How do they maintain that? How do they survive through all the heaty arguments and/or hurtful hurl of remarks made at each other all these years?

The generation today has a big difference from what was in our parents’ or grandparents’ or even the older ancient generations. Education? Society? Culture? Moral Values? Are the evolving changes to these factors resulted in crafting out the mindset in us today?
Some people say it’s because we have more choices these days but is that true? The older generations back then have their pools of choices too but perhaps their strong family values and conservative thinking restricted their mind and actions in search for trying out the “other choices” out there.

In our generation, breaking ups/divorcing is commonly becoming a trend. People chose to breakup or divorce and date or marry another one to correct the mistake/s made in the first/second or third relationship/marriage. Constantly correcting “mistakes”. Like what many ppl says “every relationship/marriage is a learning phase”.

Unlike the “phasing out” (older) generation, we fight for better lives instead of staying with the wrong one for the rest of our lives. Is that a wrong mindset? We are just correcting our mistake and putting a stop to further mistakes! The older generation is less fortunate as they were bind by their conservative thinking and has to live with mistakes for the rest of their lives!

However, I realized, besides the "Forming", "Storming" and "Norming stage", the older generation are more “capable” of moving further into the "performing stage" (where they form a family, have kids and providing them education etc), and develop even further into "adjourning stage" (where they could relinquished and retire from providing for their children once they independent (usually, refers to financially independent) and also, starting to form their own family).

In contrast, many marriages of our generation are increasing seeking splitting ups, separations and divorces way before they could even reach a "norming stage". Are we (the current generation) really more fortunate as compare to the older ones?

Irony isn't it?