If you have been confident, you will not even thought of "what if". Why will you even thought of "what if" and then rule out that thought by encouraging yourself you will not make that happen. Are you clinging on becos of ego? Or true love? Are you worry of others wagging their tougues when you never last with him? Anyway let me note this to you too. Getting married together does not mean "live happily ever after". So do not think once you reach the stage of marrying him means you have proved to everyone.
Every relationships there will definitely involve arguments (miscommunication) therefore you need not try so hard to paint a fairy tale in your blog and bear the anger you have of him (sometimes) in reality. What a hard life you lead.
While you think I do not know what actually happen then, do you know what really happen when everything you hear is from him and you never see or hear what and how he spoke to me when we have the big fight? Maybe you heard more from common friends, maybe you hear more from him when things are over now. Maybe. Maybe its true, maybe its not. Cos truth hurts. He will not want to hurt you now cos, what matter now is you. That was how he treats me too. I am no longer with him so why will he even bother about my feelings and he can say whatever he likes. Its the same cycle do you even know?
It does not matter you know sab? Cos I no longer need to live in tether ends over it. What actually goes on in his mind, only he will know. You will not know too cos if a person wanna hide, he will never tell the truth. Only his heart knows better. No one will know.
Slowly you will understand what I am talking about. Of cos now he will be badmouthing about me and said things like he just cant stand my temper, I am behaving like his brother's ex etc. I heard enough. Are you sure these are the only reason and he is a saint? Think again with your brain if you have one. I think you better drop your idea of buying that armani glass else he will be thinking you are not planning for marriage.
I really hope both will get married. Cos you have been thru so much with him and since you are so sure he will be the one, even after he can do this to me, and you do not worry whether it will happen to you too? I really hope he will marry you.
Treating you good is nothing. All the phone callings, shopping, meeting up friends etc. Remember, he is a self centred person who wants his own personal space when he finds an activity more interesting to do. Nvm, you may not know what I mean, slowly, it takes time.
A man can tell you all the assurance in this world. But in the nick of time if he really can do it on his own accord or becos of peer pressure or caring for his own face, only he will know. You will never ever know. Do you know how coward he was when your presence in the whole issue was made known?
I am glad I need not face this uncertainty. You have given him all your trust your love your whole body. At the end of the day when things end, you will feel like a complete fool.
I hate you becos I cant believe a woman like you will have ulterior motives (that was what he describe to me) who pass your number to him despite fact that ppl already warn you that he is attached, you do not feel apologetic inviting him over to bangkok becos you dun know he was having a problem with me. He made you sound cheap, desperate and thick-skinned. He mentioned you purposefully gave him your blog add so that he can read about your affection towards him but he simply cant be bother to even read about it and gave it to another friend instead while he was bothering over our problem. He was lying to me, and to you. I do not understand why you are so protective of him, probably thats what ppl term it as love blindly or love is blind. I hope you learn to protect yourself more.
What I feel are what he told me. What you feel are what he told you. What our friends feel are what he told our friends. Those Wilson and Ron, I have no comments on them. They can bitch all they wants and I can bitch all I want. My level of hates on you depends on what he told me about you. Its just so simple.
If you think you are not affected, will you even blog about it knowing I reads your blog? Common, stop behaving like a little girl in your fantasy dreams. Now it's your turn to face this uncertainty. You all can talk and think why person like me exist in this world, while me and my friends also thought why ppl like you exist in this world.
In summary, every one deserves to be existing in this world. Its not something we can chose. Just, do not do things to make yourself happy so as to sacrifice others. Even if he never chose you back then, he will never be the person I love anymore. Everything ended when I finally thought thru that. Yes, he is a self centred, coward and con man who hides his true self too well only time will tell. So be patience and observe.
I have never been so happy and relieved in my life. Throughout my years with him, we have our happy moments, I cooked for him, he picks love seeds for me, I bring him towel while he is playing basketball, he bought my lunch when I am working. Most of the reasons why I would start a quarrel becos he always, always have been double standards.
He just wan someone who gives him his freedom to do what HE WANTS to when he wants. Someone fun. He likes to argue and laughed at you, putting you down. That was not a healthy relationship I was in all this while. Love is blind. I have been blinded and while emotions been ruled out, in reality, he is not the one for me.
I may not know the whole story. you do not too. But the difference is, I need no longer think if he is telling the truth cos I am not with him anymore.
I do not feel jealous nor envy, seriously. I am a very straight forward person. I just felt this relationship which I have so much confidence in (just like how you feel right now) in, it is just not worth it. I gain nothing telling you all these. Even if you break with him, he will not come back for me and I will not want him back too. We are totally finished. Now that you are in my position, other girls out there will be vying in your position. It runs in a vicious cycle.
I wish you all the best and hope your karma will not come too soon or will even come.
No comments:
Post a Comment