The higher you are, the narrower your brain is.

Dear Ms Yap,

Please find attached my ORIGINAL examiner's report on PhD Thesis "Generation and control of ..." by xxx. This report was generated electronically including my electronic signature. I did not make any specific comments on the thesis and believe that there is no need to return then, to save my time and NIE's money. Please confirm the receipt and advise when and in which mode (cheque or direct bank transfer) I can expect my examiner's fee to be paid.

With best regards


Dear Professor K. OSTRICH

Good morning. Thank you for examining the thesis for candidate XXX. However, it is the university's policy that examiner to return with the examiner's report with original signature, together with the marked thesis.

Hence, we will appreciate your arrangement to send the marked thesis together with your examiner's report to us via DHL mailing. The honorarium payment will be send to you in the form of bank draft once we receive your returned mail. Thank you and have a good day ahead!

Best regards


Dear Ms Yap,

Which original signature are you talking about? Do you undertsand (<- spelling mistake) that the report was created ELECTRONICALLY and my electronic signature is ORIGINAL? What is the use of printing out the file with the electronic signature and then posting it to you? If you do not understand this, pls ask someone (your boss for example) who knows how electronic signatures are inserted into word files and then converted into pdf.

Also, I did not mark anything on the thesis, so why do you need unmarked thesis? Can you explain me now (other that (<- should be “than”) stating that it is a policy which will lead to substantial waste of money!) why should I waste my time in contacting the DHL and waste NIE's money?

So, please do not delay and post the demand draft to my private address in Syd***:


(MY IMAGINARY REPLY TO HIM):
Dear Professor K. OSTRICH

I see that you need the bankdraft very urgently becos you demanded. The original signature I am referring to, is the one you have to sign on the form using a pen or pencil, preferable using pen as pencil marking may fade. The supporting reports can be typed out, I dun expect you to be so diligent and write the whole report. You are not needed to print the copy with your electronic signature as I can print a copy from my laser printer which I assume will be much clearer than your printer.

We request you send back the thesis for fear that student’s research work will be made reference to or be use as your work in your own research if you discover that his research is an excellent one which, we cannot assume (that will mean making an ASS out from U and ME) that no examiners will do that. This is to protect candidate’s research work.

Therefore, please do not be lazy and quickly send us the thesis together with the form (with your signature signed by a pen, pencil or use your own blood). If you do not know how to send a document via DHL, you may call DHL at xxxxx and enquire about the procedures.

Only after receiving your return, we will be able to process your honorarium payment and mail you your bankdraft, alternatively if you desperately need that US500 as you have demanded like a mugger, you may chose to fly over Singapore and to my organization and I will get my finance dept to prepare the bankdraft readily for you.

(OF COS I DID NOT REPLY HIM IN THIS MANNER. INSTEAD, I FORWARDED THE EMAIL TO MY IMMEDIATE SUP FOR HIS ACTION. BEFORE HE COULD TAKE ACTION, HE RECEIVED ANOTHER EMAIL FORWARDED MY HEAD OF DEPT. THE OSTRICH HAS ACTUALLY EMAILED TO COMPLAIN TO MY HOD. I KNEW THIS COMING! MY GOOD NATURE GAVE WAY AND I WROTE MY IMMEDIATE SUP AN EMAIL COMPLAIN TOO, IN A MORE SUBTLE MANNER):


Hi Ray


Below email was forwarded to you on the 18 Aug for reply. I did not reply his email immediately as I consider it will be better for my immediate sup to take over from there as he does not accept my explanation.

I don’t work on 16th and 17th as it’s a weekend. Friday I was held up with other works to attend to, therefore I forwarded you the email on 18th Aug 08 (am) instead.

I have always been requesting external examiners to return with signed (using pen) examiners' reports if they email me with the electronic ones because that was the usual practice all along that I was told. And examiners usually have no problem with returning the signed reports via mailing.

Upon checking with Audrey after Prof Ostrich’s email reply, I was told electronic signature is acceptable but marked thesis (regardless of whether comments are made on thesis) has to be returned as it's our university's property.

With regards to the swopping of letters during DHL mailing, I have apologized and forwarded him the correct cover letter via email immediately on the same day when he requested and I have also informed Christine to take note of that (I apologise on behalf of my colleague of a mistake not done by me!).

I was also told that honorarium payment can only be process upon receiving returned thesis from examiners and payment are not done immediate as preparing a bank draft is beyond my area of work which involves finance and OCBC bank, and I understand it usually takes roughly about a month. And reason why payment can only be made only after receiving thesis is to ensure that proper markings and report are received together with the marked thesis (that's what the honorarium is paid for isn’t it?).

And if immediate actions and reply are a practice in Australia, perhaps we should expect immediate reply from him whenever we forward him thesis for marking (no need 2mths grace allowance anymore).


For your consideration please.


Regards