Another ceremony completed. Yet again, as per normal, he only thanked the other HOD and students, and then he thanked my AD and SD and looked around to identify me, which he named as DEPARTMENT STAFF for organizing the ceremony.
You can tell from look that he has to include me in his thank you speech SIMPLY BECAUSE my direct bosses are around and it would look silly if my direct bosses gain credits for the amount of work done to make the ceremony possible because they knew I did almost all the work and planning.
Looking at him from afar and hearing that “I will also like to thank XXX and XXX………..and (paused abit) my department staff for organizing this event……..” from the stage that rang through the whole theatre has irked me. I mean, if you don’t mean it, I rather you don’t say, please. It reflected badly on you because that makes you look like a hypocrite, and as well as on me, making it felt that I don’t deserve it. I don’t badly need your acknowledgement. I just want to get my job done and completed. I really don’t need YOU to thank me. Without your acknowledgement, I will also expect myself to perform in the state where I am at now.
At work, I have fairly high expectations from myself. Simply because I believe in what goes round comes around. If I made a mistake now, it will sooner or later be spotted and questioned by others which I will be answering for it. And because of this nature in me, I get edgy if I made a slight mistake at work, which could be avoided if I have been more careful. Especially now that my bosses are looking at me, and the rest and pushing us for a higher ladder step, I am “competing” with other colleagues and also expected to perform and lift up to our job title. I just could afford to make a bad impression.
The pressures are there but they are positive ones and I can only work within my own means. Not that I will do extra to outshine others, not that I will dim my own glow among the rest, I just focus on my path and walk the rest of it carefully and tactfully.
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