Recently I came to know something about someone. The way he used to control and laugh at me when I cut my fringe and even forbids me to do it again, when he complains he hates drinking cos he develop rashes the next day, how the smell of cigarette smoke chokes up his nostrils and pollutes his lungs and everytime his uncle smokes, he closes his bedroom door. he simply hates it!!! How he complains about "curry pok" hair styles and sneer at the girls at their off shoulder dressings, ugly ear rings big like the hand grip found in the buses. How he hated wearing jeans...etc etc Aiyoh!!! All that can be found on his new found toy. Does it mean he change his taste or he is confused over what he wants??
How confidently he sweared to say "I dont like tat woman Sabrina at all !" in front of my family members and close friends. How angry he was when he saw those pics he posted in her blog, how he defended saying dun know what she is thinking when she passed her number to him when his colleagues already warned her saying he is attached, making it sound she was the one who throw herself to her. That was the image he painted to us and his close friends. Telling us she was the wrecker. He always blame me for not trusting him, Umpteen times I said, trust is about earning, not just by giving. And maybe he is still angry with me and thus accepted her since no one else throw themselves upon him? Maybe he just wanna get back at me cos I did something he hate me doing most.
Anyway, isn't it scary to think that if he can do that to you, he might be planning something for his next gf too?? And isnt it scary to think that she is with such a person, lying next to him, she dont even know what he is thinking and planning behind her back? And the worst to think, she gave all his trust and defended for him and getting her friends involve.
Don't she feel like the biggest fool at the end of this world when the truth surfaced out one of these days? And by then, it may be the time when she is already with a child or two?
How much in the name of love could change a person and making someone lossing his ownself? He was so accommodating now becos he thought, to love someone means giving freedom to do whatever she likes? Allowing her to hug shamelessly at anyone even when it shames him if his best friends see it and he still will endure? And how long will this endurance goes on? 1 yr? 2 yrs? 3 yrs before he realise he is not being his ownself anymore? The worst timing to start a relationship is when one is in a confusion state of mind. The honeymoon phase I have also been through, whats so surprising about that? It is nothing new to me.
Was talking with my friends about him and his new found toy and indeed the comments were all the same. How pathetic one acted brave and righteous when concealing the guilt when the night falls?
Knowing his mother, I knew in her heart she must have looked down on her but what else can she say when her son is such a grown up man and supposely with an abled brain.
How would his mother, one who is traditional to certain extend, have thought in her heart, that a woman attached for mths can so readily to offer to stay overnight with her son in her own house. If I am a doting mother, I may have also allow that since someone is offering to sleep with her son for foc. Will his mother even respect her? What can the mother do except to suan her and she don't even know what they means?
Anyway that is her life. And it is not a life I will be jealous of or even has anything to envy about. I do not want to be seen like a woman who is so easy and apparently can hug and sit on almost all men on their laps. In fact, every time I thought about it, I shook my head. The parents just did not do a proper teaching.
Freedom is not about doing everything you please but doing things with moral values and not doing whatever you like to strive for your own happiness in the expense of hurting others. That is self centredness, its not freedom. Freedom is about being able to do things without lossing oneself.
With my downfall in my 1st relationship, I learnt to pick myself up and learnt to give freedom and accept freedom and be independent. I learnt that life is not about friends and boyfriend but also my family.
I learn that my mother forbids me to dye my hair is simply just becos she cares (even if I dye can come home, she is not going to shave it off) and I respected her therefore I did not do that. I rather convince her thats nothing wrong before I do it. That is call common respect.
Anyway with or without hair dye, I still look best. Healthy hair is what matters, better than some red dyed hair, no, erm, I mean hays and at least I got hair still. Not like some mop fringed trying to save her hair by cutting fringe short. The sides are dropping! I can see your scalp!!!
The next guy will definitely be a lucky guy, I promise all of yous.
:)
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