If only...

You are so near yet so far....
Where have you been my dearest master?
Are you alive or are you dead?
Or are you the living dead I pinned to see?

The silence and thoughts may drive me crazy one day
But life will still go on everyday
In darkness I crawl, in darkness I fall
But in the end, I still stand tall, for you I will be strong.

Will I see you again in the middle of the night again?
When we can drive down the road away from everyone we know and be into each other's arms again, no one will know.
Will you show me your darkest castle and lead me up the stairs again?
Who can bring you that smile and laughter again?
Will you take care of yourself and be geniunely happy again?
You dont have to pretend when you are with me. You can just be what you wanna be.
The kisses under the witness of the moonlight, you said broke down your walls, it shattered mine too. Do you even remember it?

I feel your unhappiness and it twitch my heart so much I realise that you seem to be like an ingrowth, living in me.

The twisted fate that interwined that suffocates me. Do you feel the same too?
I wanted very much to be near but afraid of you. Do you feel the same too?

Are you afraid to hold me again? Are you afraid to hear from me again? Are you afraid to see me again? Are you afraid to talk to me again? Are you afraid to hear updates of me again? Are you afraid to be dependent on me again??

Why are we living in such misery? Fate brings two together but fate separates for you and me.
I can only see you from a distance and look on helplessly. I wanted to tell you everything is fine and will be alright, if you could believe and dream with me.

Hold me again and take time to understand each other again, if you can tell me. If we can start all over again.