My second attempt

Another day passed with heart palpitation, staring straight into the computer, trying hard to get all the noise, gossips, loud voice and ringing tones out from my mind. But the palpitation will not let me off. I continued to let it invade me but I put up a tough fight with it. The mind games started and it is just a passing phase, I told myself. Finally when the day is over, I keep my spirits up by rewarding myself with a peanut pan cake when I was on my way back home. :)

Then, rushing off my dinner at home, I went dwn to the salon which I went to two weeks ago, to get my hair, cut, again. Everytime I feel stressed out, I went to cut my hair. I wonder how much more will be left on my head and will I shave it off when my stress limits reach max?

Then I went to mac to get myself a drink, and stroll back home from Jurong Point, thinking of the yesterday's attempt, I thought I can figure my way back home alone without my friend's accompany. The peaceful walk with occasional joggers and ah nehs walking past me, other than that, it was a wonderful and happy journey.

The slow walk, the thought of "the decision lies in your hands" keeps ringing in my mind. I get to decide which path I should walk to reach home. There were times when I look at my watch and see mins passed by, I really do have the intention to flag down a cab, why make it so difficult for myself after a hard day at work? But I did not.

It just made me feel relax. No more traffic jams, no more standard bus or mrt routes to decide which path I should take to reach my destination, now I am able to walk a route myself. Maybe I have been too suppress and faces too many limitations in life, this walk just makes me happy.

It also enlightens me that the same theory applies to our life. How we want a life, how our life should be, we walk it out ourselves. The feeling of being able to control your life and time and how you just wanna spend it the way you wanna it to be, it just makes me happy!

The more I thought of it, the more I walk with confidence, and then I realised, I lost my way. I try to figure out my location, I try to squeeze my eyes further to look at sign boards (becos my vision seems not good when it is in the night).... slowly I manage to walk to the familar main road, along the jalan boon lay way...instead of feeling panick and jump straight at getting a cab for my rescue, I slowly figure out myself and walked to a nearby bus stop and took a bus home instead. But that is quite a good attempt again, for a spoilt and attitude girl like me. :)

Tomorrow is playing pool with ah fu ge and then probably staying up late whole night painting if I can. Time is just too short everyday.