Your veil

Your veil was down all these while, I cant see if you smile.
What is your emotions all these while?

Was it loneliness that drew you closer to me from the start?
That was never what I thought when I met you, never of that.

You came into my life at the point when I was picking up myself.
You are the one who made me feel hopeful of the bed of roses love could bring.
All were genuine why don you believe?

There were many torns around me, but none I fancy.
I cant stop the torns from growing.
I cannot stop them from coming, except to lock myself and hoping you will be ard with me.

But you let me alone once again, thinking, wondering and crying.
I cannot let anyone do this to me, I told myself.
I cant bear to hear if your explanations were to say goodbye to me. I cant bear to let it happen to me again.
Thus I rather end all and all, unwillingly.

Maybe the sweetest thing is when we never own something we wish to have,
Leave it to our thought to paint us a perfect picture,
how wonderful it will be to be in each others arms once again, how I wish to see and hug you again. How afraid I will be if I see you again, I wonder how to react and how to see you my friend who is not really I wanna treat as a friend but circumstances just make us keep things as it is.

I was constantly unhappy, no longer becos of him, but you. Becos I cant help but afraid to love but no deny, has fallen deeply for you. But the saddest thing was I am afraid to love again.

Life is a mockery. Meeting the person I wanna be with but I do not have the ability to love and feel love whole heartedly once again. The open wound has left a scar and I do not believe I can do it once again.

You just joke and laugh I cant tell if you really feel joy.
BOth of us were coward and blind by the past we just cant move on.

But I really wish you well and find someone who you wish to take care and love for your life time. Someone who can give you hope and courage to love.

As for me, I let time washes the past sins and erode my stone heart, waiting for the third one to come and waken my sleeping heart, someone who can make me believe in love again.

I miss you so badly but so afraid to let you know cos we both know we cannot do much about it as we are cripples who cant walk without crutches and so how eligible are we to provide and commit for each other?

But one thing for sure, I miss you badly and loves you even now. No matter what the outcome has been, you are one whom I have given a genuine heart, one that goes ard hurting others, one that has turn hard and cold now and mock at others who love and fancy me and takes them all for granted.

I cant ask more but to hope be your friend, someone to be by your side whom you can laugh and joke with, but it seems you have more such friends ard you, you do not need me.

And again, I stood alone at that corner, and leading a monotonous life, as and when bringing myself some thrills to my empty single life, to replace the missing you.

I miss you badly still.