I am a sadist

I am a sadist
I love falling sick
I love disease
I love being weak
I love lying there and do nothing just staring

I love feeling pain
The aching on my back is to remind me
I am still alive, I am not unfeeling

I love the mucus dripping
And the excitement of finding tissue paper before it drips out

I love the feeling of the pain in the abdomen
And rushing to the toilet before everything comes out

I love the pain in my head,
Which trains my tolerance level

I love walking slowly dragging my feet
So that I can slow down my pace

I love not eating
To feel what is hunger

I love being sick
So that I will be busy with it than to think about other things

I love falling sick and even more sick, if I can be
I am a sadist with disease, so better stay away from me! :)