I am so relieved......!

Hmmmmm! I feel so much happy today! In fact! I feel lucky. I saw those girls and him. I guess he just want to feel young once again. He dislike singing but he dun mind. He dun like to wear jeans but he wore. He dun like to go smoky pubs but he dun mind. I shake my head seeing his pic becos he is not growing up. He has move backwards trying to live a teenager life. Maybe he wishes time will go anti-clockwise and be young again. He just want to do what a typical youngster should not miss doing. I guess he felt he has missed out alot in his life. I shake my head. Suddenly there is no more hate, but pity.

Although you have always been hearing me nagging about the past, but every time I look back, I feel that I am fortunate that he let me go and let me lead my own life. Because living young again is not what my objective in life. I am 26! How can I see myself hugging hello kitty to bed? Or acting childish in front of my colleagues? Going round kissing girls or wearing sexily in clubs? Sorry, these are not my style, really not me. My apologies, maybe I am too mature in thinking. I live my age.

I never feel regretted that I club lesser or drink lesser than an average teenager. I never felt regretted not trying to work things out with many different men. I mean, there are many things much more impt than these. I always do what I like and what I want and not what others are doing. I don’t need to try out many relationships to know what I like or want. And there are so many new things in this world, the earth revolves every min. I don’t wish to miss out the deserving ones.

After my break up, I go back to my single hood. I go clubbing again, I go drinking again, and hang around with my friends but never making it a whole of me. And I go back to these activities was because those are what I used to do. I never felt it’s a pity missing out these activities when I got attached. But now that I am just back into single hood again, I enjoy and relax myself with friends, without thinking whether my bf will like this or dislike that. And most importantly, I never lose my soul and character. Still these are still not what I enjoy doing for all my leisure time. I am totally worn off with such noisy aimless activities. Occasionally going is oke. If you ever see me clubbing, it’s as good as seeing gold on ground.

Yes the twitching pain is hidden in a corner but I accepted the fact that time can never turn back and I will not wish it to turn back too. Looking back is to make sure I am right on track. And every time I look back, I felt happier. Now I wear what I like, now I shop all I can without worrying to make anyone wait, now I can have all the freedom I want! I can be myself!

My thinking has matured over the time and after this failed relationship, I really grown up a lot more and have a different perspective of life now. Though it has cast a shadow on me, but I am glad it no more a torture to me. I am free! I feel so relief! Thank you Jason. Bcos of you, I live a better and fruitful life now.