Why I am so so dark

Ok oke, I know I posted alot of scary dark poems here. But that is my creativity running thru this brain of mine. And why I felt so? Its of the trama flashes I see of the past and sometimes becos of the so call friends.

I am not hoping to turn back the clock but I am just unable to swallow it down. It is easier to say than done, when someone let you down and you tell yourself, you are glad he is not in your life anymore. You applaud when they got together, hoping that things will not last between them. Yes, all these ran through my mind. Someone who loved me for 3 and more years, my 1st boyfriend, has left with someone he claims was not the cause. She must be a happy gal now. I am sure.

She is pretty, a pretty bitch. I am just not able to swallow that down, not becos I still in love with him. I just wanna see a outcome. I am a person who is vicious and evil. I am when I hate you. I wish and curse someday someone will wreck her relationship like how she did to mine. I wish someday someone will wreck his relationship, like how he allows her to wreck mine. I wish they get what they deserves. I have elephant memory. You do me wrong and I will remember you for life. I do not go round hurting others, why am I giving this?

And friends, please, not that I refuse to let go, I am not happy that someone "up there" actually allow him to hurt me this way. I did no one wrong. Why do I deserve this pain?

You are happy now bitch, cos you used despicable methods to get what you want. But three years down the road, you will become another me. Pr maybe sooner. I am not pathetic, you are. Cause you have to use methods and techniques to get someone accept you. Your karma will come, am make sure it will happen. Let the thoughts haunt both of you every single day, let you have the endless quarrels. Let you face the double standards. Let you face the insecurity you deserve. Live in fear and not joyous. Your get-together is a sin on earth.

I am nice if you deserve, I am your hateful one if you have to provoke me!